About Ebola : you don't want to know
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Ebola's favorite FMLs
by jackskellington / 02/10/2015 at 11:34pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
Today, my husband recited to me the name and model number of every single weapon in the game Doom, along with what they did and roughly where to find them. Last month, he forgot my birthday. We've been married for 6 years; he hasn't played Doom in at least 10. FML
by doomed / 02/10/2015 at 7:00pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/10/2015 at 6:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by LunaCrow / 02/09/2015 at 9:32pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, while correcting essays, I spilled ketchup on a student's paper. I managed to successfully turn it into a happy smiley face but when proudly looking at the result, noticed it was right next to the big "F" that I had graded it. FML
by Anonymous / 02/09/2015 at 9:53am / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals
Today, it's been about a week since my boyfriend started his new medication, which has essentially killed any sex drive he had. It has also been about two weeks since I stopped mine, making me hornier than ever. FML
by myself / 02/09/2015 at 8:32am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I boarded a plane. A woman decided that she didn't like where she put her carry on luggage and pulled it out from over my head. The heavy luggage then fell right into my face, the wheel smacking me in the mouth busting my lip open. She just laughed and waltzed away without a word. FML
by wellalrightythen / 02/09/2015 at 1:23am / United States (Indiana) / Health
Today, my mom asked my siblings and me for help cleaning the kitchen. After working for a half hour while all my siblings sat on the couch, I pointed out that I was the only one working. My mom thanked my siblings for not having attitudes like mine and sent me to my room. FML
by Anonymous / 02/08/2015 at 11:47pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by jimmy_poison / 02/08/2015 at 7:19pm / New Zealand (Waikato) / Love
Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home with no shopping. FML
by sorry :/ / 02/08/2015 at 1:28pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/08/2015 at 11:05am / United States / Miscellaneous
by irwingiggles / 02/08/2015 at 5:26am / Netherlands / Health
by OnlyAvailableID / 02/08/2015 at 3:35am / Australia / Animals