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Ebola's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend tried to justify having a one night stand with some other guy, with the words, "I'm on my period, okay?!" She acted like I was crazy when I asked how the fuck that made any sense. FML
by Anonymous / 02/06/2015 at 3:10pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
by valarmorgoolies / 02/06/2015 at 1:51pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by alostr1 / 02/06/2015 at 12:32pm / United States / Health
Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML
by that guy / 02/06/2015 at 11:56am / United States (California) / Love
Today, after a day, I finally noticed that the toilet paper I'd been using to wipe my butt is actually a roll of paper towel cut in half. My dad thinks that it's a waste of money to buy proper paper. Guess who had to unclog the toilet twice. FML
by Anonymous / 02/06/2015 at 3:26am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by fucked / 02/06/2015 at 3:06am / Singapore / Work
by ZAnon / 02/06/2015 at 2:06am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, my boss brought his cat to the office. Despite our no pet policy, I still managed to get the blame when the crazy animal scratched 3 colleagues and peed on the floor after my boss left for bathroom. Apparently I was supposed to be "looking after it". FML
by anonymous / 02/06/2015 at 12:16am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
by Milked Richard / 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML
by gumchuck / 02/05/2015 at 4:03pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by m33p / 02/05/2015 at 3:42pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by thenewgirl29 / 02/05/2015 at 11:42am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/05/2015 at 10:32am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by DreamsDontComeTrue / 02/05/2015 at 1:15am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by jamienicole1993 / 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…