About Ebola : you don't want to know
Ebola's FML badges
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Ebola's favorite FMLs
by itsemilyc / 02/02/2015 at 2:34pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I thought I would treat myself to a shave and a haircut at a proper barber, instead of just a haircut at Supercuts. After many "Oops", "Sorry", even an "Oh dear", I left with no hair cut, and blood streaming from multiple slices in my face from the shave. I think one might need stitches. FML
by Anonymous / 02/02/2015 at 12:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my coworker said that she suddenly got the shivers. I jokingly told her that it meant she must be being watched by a dead person and made stupid ghost noises. She then told me it was the anniversary of her dad's death and burst into tears. FML
by pinecones / 02/02/2015 at 9:25am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I started getting calls from gay men looking for anonymous kinky sex. It turns out that my coworker has been posting my personal information in Craigslist Personals section as a prank. My wife doesn't believe that my coworker is such an asshole. FML
by CalledOut / 02/02/2015 at 1:41am / United States (Washington) / Work
by grossedout / 02/01/2015 at 6:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
by TheTacoMan / 02/01/2015 at 4:12pm / Miscellaneous
by FuckfaceSteve / 02/01/2015 at 9:59am / United Kingdom (Durham) / Love
by Lunab123 / 01/31/2015 at 9:43pm / United States (Maryland) / Health
by WalkTheOtherWay / 01/31/2015 at 9:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML
by Anonymous / 01/31/2015 at 10:08am / United States (Texas) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/31/2015 at 8:12am / Belgium / Miscellaneous
Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and said that the moment the ceremony was over, he heard my wife's vagina slam shut. "Welcome to marriage, sucker," he chuckled, "It's just you and Rosy Palm now!" FML
by Anonymous / 01/31/2015 at 12:38am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, after telling my husband he can send me dirty texts any time, he sent me one from work. It said, "Babe when I get home, I'm gonna go 9/11 on your pussy ;)". I'm still not sure he understands why that was so offensive. FML
by The Soul Of A Damned Queef / 01/30/2015 at 11:04pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, when making a delivery for the restaurant I work for, a customer shoved and yelled at me because she didn't get any fries with her order. She didn't order any, which isn't unusual, considering we're a Chinese takeaway and don't even sell them. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2015 at 8:25pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work
Today, I showed my son the old trick of turning a calculator upside down and spelling "BOOBIES" on it in numbers. He laughed, then spent nearly 20 minutes trying to spell "COCKS", before giving up and hurling the calculator across the room. I wish my sperm had a warranty. FML
by 3722145 / 01/30/2015 at 7:51pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids
- Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, while on holiday in Morocco, I got arrested by a cop. “Sir, you were driving at 90 instead… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without…