About Ebola : you don't want to know
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Ebola's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/13/2015 at 5:49pm / United States / Love
Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2015 at 3:24pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonynonynon / 02/13/2015 at 2:05pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, I spent an ungodly amount of money to send my long-distance boyfriend a giant bouquet of roses for Valentine's Day. A few hours after making the non-refundable payment, he let me know we weren't going to work out, and that he was already sleeping with someone else. FML
by cyprianista / 02/13/2015 at 11:13am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML
by TheKingKen / 02/13/2015 at 3:40am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I awoke after 4 hours of surgery. The male nurse taking care of me is cute, very cute. I'm trying my best to seem fine and dandy when he tells me that I can't eat anything before my next poop, adding, "And don't flush it, OK? I need to check." FML
by lilipalmer / 02/13/2015 at 1:44am / France / Love
Today, I went to a thrift store and found heaps of clothes that I loved that fit me perfectly. Then I found a special distinctive dress. My dress. My dad had thrown away heaps of my clothes and I had to buy them all back. FML
by NotMacklemore / 02/12/2015 at 11:59pm / Australia (Victoria) / Money
by CheeseTacos / 02/12/2015 at 5:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/12/2015 at 3:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, my boyfriend threw a fit because I "still" live with my mother at age 30. I bought her an apartment in my building and hired a live-in nurse because she is senile and permanently bedridden. FML
by Anonymous / 02/12/2015 at 11:50am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Miscellaneous
by Mkimmi / 02/12/2015 at 2:39am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/11/2015 at 10:59pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by bingalingading / 02/11/2015 at 8:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
by SDCore / 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, the CEO of my company leaned over and said, "Hey, I've been meaning to thank you…" I thought he was going to thank me for all of my hard work, but he continued, "…for wearing that shirt today. I can totally see your boobs." FML
by titsmcgee / 02/11/2015 at 4:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
- Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack… Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I… Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy…