About Ebola : you don't want to know
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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Ebola's favorite FMLs
Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML
by k8thagr8 / 02/28/2015 at 9:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
by great / 02/28/2015 at 11:23am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 9:16am / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 4:04am / Australia / Health
by fine / 02/28/2015 at 12:22am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by FreshDonuts / 02/28/2015 at 12:03am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by bobjope / 02/27/2015 at 11:14pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I were talking about times we'd made our mothers cry. She said she'd only made her mother cry once. When I asked when, she said, "When I told her I was thinking about dating you." FML
by shoggoth_wild / 02/27/2015 at 9:13am / United States (Mississippi) / Love
Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML
by milked / 02/27/2015 at 12:28am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML
by LocallyBrewed / 02/26/2015 at 11:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML
by MuteNToot / 02/26/2015 at 4:17pm / Miscellaneous
Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML
by frediqqq / 02/25/2015 at 11:21pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…