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About EatMeWhileImHot : I'm Brandon. I'm very rambunctious. I love to just hang out with friends. Or play video games, and I LOVE listening to music! Especially BMTH/Slipknot. Oh and I love to Laugh!!!!! Oh and do stupid stuff :D
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. When I orgasmed, my leg flew out and I accidentally kicked him in the balls. For the next ten minutes, he lay in the fetal position. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18386) - you deserved it (13549)
On 12/11/2010 at 1:00am - intimacy - by caligirl921 - United States
Today, to spice things up a bit my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7418) - you deserved it (21385)
On 10/03/2010 at 12:27am - intimacy - by EffinAhole - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13015) - you deserved it (28887)
On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I realized my name in French means 'penis'. This wouldn't be as bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31620) - you deserved it (2335)
On 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by kiki - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I noticed my husband chews his tongue while we are having it off. He also does this while he is playing World of Warcraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19048) - you deserved it (4604)
On 08/01/2010 at 3:02am - intimacy - by Nuttree (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my boyfriend showed me how he gives himself a semi-erection before he goes into the men's showers after training so his penis will look bigger in front of all the guys. I find it worrying that he won't have sex with me, but has no problem walking around in front of men naked with a semi. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26488) - you deserved it (2895)
On 07/18/2010 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by 4fucksake (woman) - Ireland (Sligo)
Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22099) - you deserved it (12812)
On 07/18/2010 at 5:47pm - misc - by anonmys - United States (California)
Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36850) - you deserved it (8741)
On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, My girlfriend and I were watching TV, randomly she starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited she says to me "Just Joking". FML
I agree, your life sucks (109264) - you deserved it (14450)
On 04/13/2009 at 9:44am - intimacy - by Hikara (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was giving a tour on campus when one of my friends approached us and said "Don't go here, the weed's too expensive." and walked away. Thinking he's coming back to say he's joking, he instead say "i'm just kidding its really cheap" and walked away. I may or may not still have a job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37615) - you deserved it (3416)
On 04/11/2009 at 10:51pm - misc - by JimmyJazzNJ (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I went to Hot Topic to look for a poster of my friend's favorite band for her birthday. I found the perfect one, and I grabbed one from the bottom of the shelf that was rolled up into a long box. When she opened it at the restaurant, it was a picture of two naked girls touching each other. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21208) - you deserved it (45387)
On 03/22/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97224) - you deserved it (8534)
On 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by ufhdafuhds (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)
Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend bought me a Nickelback CD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70623) - you deserved it (19657)
On 03/10/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by deez_nutz (man) - Canada (Ontario)
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