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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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Earrings100's favorite FMLs
by professorsdaughter / 06/19/2014 at 1:28am / United States (Washington) / Love
by gracezering / 06/17/2014 at 7:45am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, in a last ditch attempt to get away from my psycho coworker, I made my boss transfer me to another branch in the district. My coworker was immediately moved to that branch, because we "work well together". FML
by Godhelpme / 06/15/2014 at 10:21pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML
by 404: sense not found / 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my university considered it an "embarrassment" that I was going to be the first and only person to graduate from my engineering course, so they gave free passes to two guys who hadn't finished their thesis yet. They were congratulated in the newspaper; I wasn't. FML
by jlmed / 06/02/2014 at 7:10pm / Colombia (Valle del Cauca) / Miscellaneous
by damn it rose / 05/31/2014 at 9:40am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love
by Idk / 05/29/2014 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML
by needanotherbed / 05/28/2014 at 10:21am / United Kingdom (Suffolk) / Love
Today, I had to kick my own father out of my house after he started attacking my wife for breastfeeding our newborn son in the living room. All the way to the door, he ranted that "You don't see me whipping my dick out and pissing in front of everyone, do you?" FML
by Q / 05/20/2014 at 1:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Baby eater / 05/19/2014 at 8:00pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids
Today, I finally decided to get my five-year-old son a rabbit, so I explained to him how to take care of it. When I'd finished listing all the things he'd have to do, he replied, "That's too complicated... Couldn't we just eat it instead?" FML
by Anonyme / 05/16/2014 at 3:55am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals
Today, I nervously flirted with a very cute guy. Being a little overweight, I rarely think cute guys will go for me. This line of thinking was yet again correct when he casually pulled his sleeve up revealing a tattoo of a pinup girl with a "NO FAT CHICKS" sign below it. FML
by nofatchicks / 05/12/2014 at 7:49pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Love
by Makeitdance / 05/11/2014 at 10:46am / United States (California) / Work
- Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his… Today, after having some drinks at the club, I went home with this awesome girl. When I woke up, I… Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes…
- Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, my university fridge is so small that the cucumber I bought doesn’t fit either lengthwise or…