Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Eaglestrike117

Search for a member

Eaglestrike117

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 23665
  • Number of comments : 189
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Eaglestrike117 : I've read every single FML.

Eaglestrike117's page activity

Visits<b>opinionatedhuman</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 4:18pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 6:25am<b>ShyGuy477</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 11:21am<b>BigL99</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 6:04pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 8:58am<b>thebosslikeaboss</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 8:47am<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 4:14am<b>AMERICAN_MADE</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 5:15pm<b>kerstileann</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 9:48pm<b>xSLEEPYxHEADx</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 10:19am<b>theonly1foryou</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 12:54am<b>Chris_Nuwen</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 1:46am<b>OrangeDoge25</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:37pm<b>spartan88eric</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:18pm<b>RabbidIbanez</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 10:10pm<b>iOceanus</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 2:56pm<b>laurenalexis09</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 7:34pm<b>star14394</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 11:25pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 12:25pm

Eaglestrike117's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of Eaglestrike117's badges

Eaglestrike117's favorite FMLs

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

#1592701
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23641) - you deserved it (83291)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML

#1466459
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19990) - you deserved it (92679)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML

#1452410
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64564) - you deserved it (29244)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by hyper12332 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got up early to prank my family. I put a bucket of ice water on top of a door frame so whoever walked through would get an icy surprise. After I was done, I went back to bed. I woke up groggy and disoriented like always and walked right through the doorway I had rigged. FML

#742417
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16969) - you deserved it (157455)

On 04/01/2009 at 6:42am - misc - by blackvogue (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML

#741988
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88554) - you deserved it (18443)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by highleyj (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML

#683803
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65997) - you deserved it (24354)

On 03/29/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by Hotsauce887 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was trying to convince my boyfriend that I am NOT a dumb blonde. After screaming at the top of my lungs, I tripped over a bin and hit my head on a wall. FML

#582886
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19801) - you deserved it (82178)

On 03/24/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by blondie (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

#459087
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29533) - you deserved it (108210)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by JohnMackSquirts (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML

#300638
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31673) - you deserved it (65483)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by DanniRae (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML

#296354
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13089) - you deserved it (63101)

On 03/13/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML

#284882
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53501) - you deserved it (28161)

On 03/12/2009 at 3:56pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54940) - you deserved it (318538)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents. It got to an intense sex scene. I felt grateful when I saw his father reaching for the remote to fastforward past the scene. He put it into slowmotion. We watched in silence for about 3 minutes before he managed to fix it. FML

#278684
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82065) - you deserved it (5136)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by uncomfortable (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I went on a run with this cute guy I know. I was sweating untractively and profusely so I decided to discretly grab a leaf from a tree and wipe my face with it. A bird had done the same with his ass few minutes ago. FML

#261898
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42145) - you deserved it (30366)

On 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm - animals - by broussimousse - United Kingdom (London)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: