About Eaglestrike117 : I've read every single FML.
Eaglestrike117's FML badges
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Eaglestrike117's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML
by mel / 08/30/2009 at 11:23am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML
by ElevatorThug / 08/25/2009 at 5:17am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
by urmommmm / 08/22/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML
by Ben / 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm / United States / Intimacy
by JayBausch / 08/17/2009 at 4:48pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by haha247 / 08/14/2009 at 10:09am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Andrexwife / 07/31/2009 at 3:03am / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Love
by Herdad / 07/30/2009 at 7:34am / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by arsenic660 / 07/29/2009 at 11:17pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML
by fedexed / 07/27/2009 at 3:12pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, while doing aerobics in my room, I started doing really powerful Knee Highs. My cell phone fell out of my pocket while doing one knee high. As I looked down, I kneed myself in the face. I spent the next couple hours in the emergency room while the doctor told everyone my story. FML
by mobster / 07/26/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Health
Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML
by bossgroper / 07/23/2009 at 4:23pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML
by emperor / 07/21/2009 at 1:38am / Bangladesh (Dhaka) / Miscellaneous
by jinxofsocal / 06/21/2009 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while walking in the mall, I had two people race past me in wheelchairs. Thinking they were racing, I started rooting for the one guy that was ahead. Turns out his wheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help. He then slammed and fell into the water fountain. FML
by meantowheels / 06/20/2009 at 10:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
- Today, a friend offered to have sex with me, since I'm a 19 year old virgin who's only been kissed.… Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing… Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in…