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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After three long weeks of him ignoring me and cancelling out on time we were supposed to spend with each other. He looked at me with the most confused look on his face. Then he says ''Are you serious? I was planning the perfect day to ask you to marry me'' FML
I agree, your life sucks (29245) - you deserved it (71967)
On 03/17/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by PinkTornado - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was teaching a swimming lesson to 6-7 year old boys and girls. I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I haven't been taking care of my bikini line. While I was demonstrating how to do a whip-kick out of the water one of the boys said, "You have a beard coming out of your bathing suit!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (34242) - you deserved it (52947)
On 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm - kids - by superfkd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (461404) - you deserved it (573222)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (184995) - you deserved it (21608)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend was coming over so I bought this sexy corset, some fishnets, stilettos and see-through thong. After my dad left I dressed up and a few minutes later the doorbell rang. I answered it, whip in hand. It was my dad. He forgot his keys. I'm grounded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39399) - you deserved it (125277)
On 03/01/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by thissucks (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55585) - you deserved it (323944)
On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (527204) - you deserved it (37889)
On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26811) - you deserved it (4072)
On 02/01/2009 at 10:48am - intimacy - by nicknack22 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37194) - you deserved it (18387)
On 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by USSEYL - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)
Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (226647) - you deserved it (18797)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:20am - misc - by mehdi -
Monday 20 May 2013
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