E_breaker

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E_breaker

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1847
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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E_breaker's page activity

Visits<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 12:44pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:19pm

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 6:44pm

E_breaker's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

E_breaker's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a bad cut on my dominant hand while at work. My boss decided to order me to juice lemons... all 300 of them. FML

by FoxyManicLiar / 09/27/2010 at 5:06pm / Work

Today, my dad borrowed my new iPad to amuse him while he was in the shower without my knowledge. The iPad is now completely ruined, and my dad is refusing to buy me a new one. He says, "How was I to know that it wasn't waterproof?" FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2010 at 4:39pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Geek

Today, I put a tampon in. The string broke. I had to go to the hospital to get it out. FML

by lalalasmiles06 / 09/03/2010 at 11:47pm / Health

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

by clitorasaurus / 08/21/2010 at 2:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

by captainocd / 08/19/2010 at 3:16pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML

by anonymous / 03/09/2010 at 1:43am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping that maybe finally I would get some physical interaction. I did. I got a high five. FML

by Sl3vin / 01/19/2010 at 9:17am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, my sister won a bet. She bet my best friend a burrito that I wouldn't lose my virginity within a year. I am twenty and have to drive my friend to Del Taco so he can buy my sister her victory burrito cause I didn't get laid. FML

by Jaayoung23 / 01/14/2010 at 10:47am / Intimacy

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2009 at 7:08am / United States (Washington) / Holidays

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was accepted to college and received a scholarship equal to almost half the tuition. After sharing this news with my parents, I spent the next 35 minutes getting yelled at about how I wasn't allowed to go there because my boyfriend might go there. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2009 at 6:47pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, after having paid to download an iPhone FML app, I found out that the real 'Fmylife Official' app was a lot more complete. And free. FML

by Fmyapp / 12/02/2009 at 12:58pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I flew in to visit my long distance girlfriend. When I got out of the cab, I saw her way down the street walking the dog, so I hid behind the bushes to scare/suprise her. Mission accomplished. I just wish I hadn't bought her that pepper spray. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2009 at 1:28pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML

by GodDaughter / 09/19/2009 at 8:08pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2009 at 1:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy