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E_breaker

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E_breaker

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  • Number of visits : 1277
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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E_breaker's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:19pm

E_breaker's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

E_breaker's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a bad cut on my dominant hand while at work. My boss decided to order me to juice lemons... all 300 of them. FML

#13223944
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29784) - you deserved it (2741)

On 09/27/2010 at 5:06pm - work - by FoxyManicLiar - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad borrowed my new iPad to amuse him while he was in the shower without my knowledge. The iPad is now completely ruined, and my dad is refusing to buy me a new one. He says, "How was I to know that it wasn't waterproof?" FML

#13158291
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41800) - you deserved it (3456)

On 09/22/2010 at 4:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I put a tampon in. The string broke. I had to go to the hospital to get it out. FML

#12894128
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40166) - you deserved it (6559)

On 09/03/2010 at 11:47pm - health - by lalalasmiles06 -

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

#12657778
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18754) - you deserved it (29937)

On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

#12626936
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9741) - you deserved it (78265)

On 08/19/2010 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by captainocd - United States (Texas)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML

#8938821
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21978) - you deserved it (20691)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping that maybe finally I would get some physical interaction. I did. I got a high five. FML

#7434698
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27572) - you deserved it (6166)

On 01/19/2010 at 9:17am - love - by Sl3vin (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my sister won a bet. She bet my best friend a burrito that I wouldn't lose my virginity within a year. I am twenty and have to drive my friend to Del Taco so he can buy my sister her victory burrito cause I didn't get laid. FML

#7336575
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16859) - you deserved it (3715)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Jaayoung23 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

#6989911
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84064) - you deserved it (4754)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

#6768891
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28879) - you deserved it (7004)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was accepted to college and received a scholarship equal to almost half the tuition. After sharing this news with my parents, I spent the next 35 minutes getting yelled at about how I wasn't allowed to go there because my boyfriend might go there. FML

#6740380
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34602) - you deserved it (2059)

On 12/13/2009 at 6:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after having paid to download an iPhone FML app, I found out that the real 'Fmylife Official' app was a lot more complete. And free. FML

#6567661
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9874) - you deserved it (39805)

On 12/02/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by Fmyapp (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I flew in to visit my long distance girlfriend. When I got out of the cab, I saw her way down the street walking the dog, so I hid behind the bushes to scare/suprise her. Mission accomplished. I just wish I hadn't bought her that pepper spray. FML

#5661916
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9919) - you deserved it (39504)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML

#5358347
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32834) - you deserved it (9176)

On 09/19/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by GodDaughter (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28313) - you deserved it (5061)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)



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