![[fr]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_fr_hover.gif)
![[it]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_it_hover.gif)
![[es2]](http://cdn4.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_es2_hover.gif)
![[tr]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_tr_hover.gif)
![[de]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_de_hover.gif)
![[ru]](http://cdn4.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_ru_hover.gif)
![[se]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_se_hover.gif)
This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22939) - you deserved it (5018)
On 10/29/2010 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Taylor parsons - United States (Alabama)
Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26834) - you deserved it (2814)
On 10/26/2010 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Deidle-dee - United States
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, her pet bird whistled a tune she'd been trying to teach it. She stopped and congratulated it, and I took the chance to move it to the other room to prevent further distraction. She got mad and wouldn't let me back in bed because I just "untrained it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15776) - you deserved it (4652)
On 10/13/2010 at 10:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27600) - you deserved it (15694)
On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)
Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20896) - you deserved it (6754)
On 10/11/2010 at 6:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, after my marching band's performance, the girls had to change out of our uniforms in a very dark school bathroom. Someone turned on the lights and I realized that more than a dozen roaches had crawled into my skinny jeans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24311) - you deserved it (2087)
On 10/10/2010 at 4:45am - misc - by toazt - United States (Arizona)
Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23188) - you deserved it (6761)
On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, after me and my boyfriend had pretty much amazing sex, he took off the condom and started swinging it back and forth, all while making the sounds of a clock and saying, "You are getting sleepy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20581) - you deserved it (4601)
On 10/08/2010 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No, now get out of my house." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32078) - you deserved it (3170)
On 10/07/2010 at 10:26am - love - by Vinny1017 - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36160) - you deserved it (10625)
On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29106) - you deserved it (2489)
On 10/06/2010 at 12:32am - misc - by cantstoplaughing (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20482) - you deserved it (6494)
On 10/02/2010 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20306) - you deserved it (2727)
On 10/02/2010 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by seriously (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22959) - you deserved it (2285)
On 10/02/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I attempted to be nice and hold a door open for a person in a wheelchair. He hit the button to open another door. While I pointed out that I would hold the door for him, I realized that the door I was holding open for him led down some stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6781) - you deserved it (20256)
On 09/27/2010 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
