Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DysfunctionalK

Search for a member

DysfunctionalK

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 March 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 916
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About DysfunctionalK : Abnormality makes my life(:

DysfunctionalK's page activity

Visits<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 2:05am<b>Sjus</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 6:03am<b>Cad6</b> - the 04/08/2012 at 8:49am<b>Jenmic</b> - the 10/28/2011 at 2:07am

DysfunctionalK's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of DysfunctionalK's badges

DysfunctionalK's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML

#17488999
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14607) - you deserved it (49351)

On 08/16/2011 at 9:20am - love - by worried (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML

#17487537
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28518) - you deserved it (3407)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Stevie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was caught and fined for picking a lock. I have OCD. I was picking the padlock on a toilet paper holder in a public toilet because the roll was the wrong way round. FML

#17487298
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30765) - you deserved it (12303)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by Anon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

#17487267
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32898) - you deserved it (2843)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mom showed up completely hammered to a party I was throwing. The party was to celebrate the ten years that I've been sober. FML

#17486446
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30647) - you deserved it (2430)

On 08/16/2011 at 12:54am - health - by Jillian Drute - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36754) - you deserved it (3456)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML

#17306841
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18120) - you deserved it (74130)

On 07/30/2011 at 5:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33473) - you deserved it (3649)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

#17206347
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40949) - you deserved it (10083)

On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States

Today, my 16 year-old daughter tried to convince me that tampons don't actually work, all because she can still pee with one in. FML

#17069716
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31813) - you deserved it (5177)

On 07/11/2011 at 6:23pm - misc - by Username - United States (Washington)

Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML

#17063705
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29441) - you deserved it (11299)

On 07/11/2011 at 5:25am - kids - by Mothering (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

#16993109
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33631) - you deserved it (3604)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60080) - you deserved it (7407)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML

#16524791
576 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95374) - you deserved it (10460)

On 06/06/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by KillMeNow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep in class. I'm the teacher. FML

#16450721
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14871) - you deserved it (42915)

On 06/01/2011 at 12:05pm - work - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: