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Dylans_Girl1166

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Dylans_Girl1166

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 178
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>r_bruce69</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 3:00pm

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Dylans_Girl1166's favorite FMLs

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48659) - you deserved it (16275)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

#21046394
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43194) - you deserved it (8213)

On 01/31/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

#21031998
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34861) - you deserved it (56747)

On 01/18/2014 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

#20992325
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49050) - you deserved it (9112)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

#20906869
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51374) - you deserved it (7135)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by f.a.t. (woman) - Australia

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

#20838395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51879) - you deserved it (3713)

On 08/15/2013 at 5:47am - work - by bglenney - United States (California)

Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML

#20813979
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54529) - you deserved it (5243)

On 07/31/2013 at 7:19pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML

#20770545
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30192) - you deserved it (66533)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm - love - by Erica (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my cat giving birth, on my bed. I adopted her from a friend, who told me she was spayed. Now I have a giant mess and a cat who won't let me move either her or her babies. Guess I'm sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33098) - you deserved it (19036)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37927) - you deserved it (3969) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

#19275580
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26057) - you deserved it (12702)

On 03/14/2012 at 1:18am - love - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

#19072659
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34565) - you deserved it (2626)

On 02/14/2012 at 9:29am - love - by Illinoisgirl - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

#17839732
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38186) - you deserved it (3142)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML

#17743862
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34370) - you deserved it (2360)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:34pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)



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