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DvsUrsus

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DvsUrsus

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 August 1971 (43 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 149
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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DvsUrsus's page activity

Visits<b>youtubetre</b> - the 05/14/2012 at 4:31pm

DvsUrsus's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of DvsUrsus's badges

DvsUrsus's favorite FMLs

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18804) - you deserved it (35673)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML

#21340142
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31275) - you deserved it (6436)

On 01/19/2015 at 9:34am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

#21107421
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44757) - you deserved it (6523)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, I walked into work, after having given my boss a weather prediction last week, so he could decide on which day to open a new company division. I was immediately taken aside and written up for "providing false information, adversley impacting morale". FML

#20122652
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17942) - you deserved it (1985)

On 10/18/2012 at 3:40pm - work - by johnnyfuckfacer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML

#19743527
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36081) - you deserved it (5848)

On 06/06/2012 at 10:19am - misc - by Bishop (man) -

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML

#19526031
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22025) - you deserved it (2696)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

#19509709
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28777) - you deserved it (11651)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)

Today, my mother was watching me play Pokémon. She walked over to the TV and pulled the plug before ranting about how shameful it is that her 17 year old daughter plays Pokémon. She then sat down at the computer and started playing Farmville. FML

#18594471
278 comments

Today, after pouring my heart out to my girlfriend of 4 years through a speech that took me 3 weeks to write, and then proposing, she responded, "Eh, why not." FML

#18588248
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33353) - you deserved it (4179)

On 12/23/2011 at 11:38am - love - by LukeSkywalker (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I learned that the building I just moved into contains both a drummer and an opera singer. Both are very dedicated to their craft and practice frequently. FML

#17728385
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28729) - you deserved it (3206)

On 09/12/2011 at 3:00pm - misc - by OperaLover (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML

#17507228
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10081) - you deserved it (35138)

On 08/18/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, somebody stole my sunglasses. Fed up with the constant theft in my office, I stormed up to my boss, as he had long ago promised to catch the thief. He listened patiently to my rant before pointing out that my sunglasses were on my head. FML

#16235775
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10738) - you deserved it (42952)

On 05/18/2011 at 9:08am - work - by Red-cheeked -

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

#15896791
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34758) - you deserved it (23712)

On 04/23/2011 at 11:20am - kids - by parentof5 (man) - United States

Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML

#15693395
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11920) - you deserved it (49386)

On 04/08/2011 at 11:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States



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