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DvsUrsus's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
DvsUrsus's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/13/2015 at 3:35am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by SDCore / 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/19/2015 at 9:34am / United States (Maine) / Kids
Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML
by the long distance guy / 04/08/2014 at 3:56am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by OPhere / 04/15/2013 at 3:37am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked into work, after having given my boss a weather prediction last week, so he could decide on which day to open a new company division. I was immediately taken aside and written up for "providing false information, adversley impacting morale". FML
by johnnyfuckfacer / 10/18/2012 at 3:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML
by Bishop / 06/06/2012 at 10:19am / Transportation
by foshizzle / 04/25/2012 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
by ultraattitude / 04/22/2012 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother was watching me play Pokémon. She walked over to the TV and pulled the plug before ranting about how shameful it is that her 17 year old daughter plays Pokémon. She then sat down at the computer and started playing Farmville. FML
by arrowtopatella / 12/24/2011 at 12:15am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by LukeSkywalker / 12/23/2011 at 11:38am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by OperaLover / 09/12/2011 at 3:00pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML
by Anonymous / 08/18/2011 at 3:42am / United States / Work
Today, at work, somebody stole my sunglasses. Fed up with the constant theft in my office, I stormed up to my boss, as he had long ago promised to catch the thief. He listened patiently to my rant before pointing out that my sunglasses were on my head. FML
by parentof5 / 04/23/2011 at 11:20am / United States / Kids
- Today, I found out that pinching the tip of the condom before you roll it down to the base is NOT a… Today, the subject of penis size came up while my boyfriend and I were chatting. He asked if he was… Today, it was the first time my boyfriend had seen me naked. He grabs my breasts and then begins to…
- Today, I’m in China for work. All my work is stored in my Google Drive, directly via the internet.… Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, I stumbled upon a slightly drunk neighbor, trying to type in the entry code with his penis.…