About Dusk_Shores : Wait, were you expecting a grammatically incorrect "about me"? Sorry, I use Google Chrome. Comes with Spell-check.
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Dusk_Shores's favorite FMLs
Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML
by Ouchithurt / 08/04/2009 at 3:55am / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, I worked in a clinic as a intern. A nurse was called to dry a woman's hair. I followed her, trying to be a good intern. After the nurse was done, the 72 year old woman took off her bathrobe. While looking at me she sat down, her legs wide open. And, yes, she knew she was naked. FML
by Anonymous / 07/30/2009 at 9:33am / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Work
Today, while working at a fast food restaurant, I stayed a little overtime to help my manager with dishes. A kid pooped in the slide in the playground area attached to the restaurant itself. I'm the smallest one there. I had to crawl UP the slide to find and clean the poop. FML
by donezo / 06/26/2009 at 1:43am / United States (Minnesota) / Work
Today, I was taking calls at the helpdesk I work at. The caller was a man, and while helping him with his issue he suddenly stopped to tell me I had a nice soothing voice. Then he told me to say something else. As I continued to help him, he started making moaning noises. I'm a guy. FML
by Anonymous / 05/28/2009 at 12:52pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
by mikesok988 / 05/07/2009 at 3:40am / United States (North Dakota) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/17/2009 at 1:43am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my friend and i thought it would be funny if we could both fit into her big sweatpants. When we tried to take a step, she fell on top of me. She started peeing uncontrollably. We had to cut ourselves out of the sweatpants. FML
by emilyxoxoxo / 03/21/2009 at 12:11pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I was having a one night stand with a guy. He told me he wanted to do it doggie style, I said okay, and as soon as I bent over on the bed, looked at me and said, "Let's do this with the lights off". FML
by fjafja / 03/07/2009 at 1:34am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I was a host during kids' event. I did my job and started to do some funny moves to entertain the kids. I was wearing a top with a really low cut. Then noticed that all the children were pointing at me happily and adults looked surprised. Then I noticed that both my boobs had popped out. FML
by Nastiaa / 02/15/2009 at 10:49am / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Kids
by Noname / 02/07/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML
by killmyself / 01/23/2009 at 2:50pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML
by depraved / 01/08/2009 at 6:21am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, I spent the night in hospital. As soon as I was alone, I writhed and twisted in all directions in my attempts to pee in a bottle left precisely for that purpose. It was at that moment that the doctor, a good-looking guy, came in. My legs were spread wide and I was right in the middle of doing my business. FML
by la poisse / 11/19/2008 at 12:59am / Health
- Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, I've been living in Germany for several weeks now. My classmates still cannot pronounce my… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only…