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Dunmerdude's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Dunmerdude's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/06/2013 at 3:11am / United States (California) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 7:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by o_O / 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals
Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML
by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 4:21pm / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Miscellaneous
Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML
by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
by andy / 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Kids
by _The__Doctor_ / 12/31/2012 at 5:44pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by john r.t. / 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/20/2012 at 4:42am / United States (Arizona) / Kids
by BabyG2222 / 09/29/2012 at 5:14am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/26/2012 at 10:23am / Canada / Health
Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML
by identitychangeplease / 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy
Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML
by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 4:08am / United States (Wyoming) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/12/2012 at 2:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
- Today, being on my boyfriend's street bike for ten minutes gave me an orgasm. My boyfriend of three… Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment.… Today, I was laying in bed making out with a girl. After trying to figure out for a while why she…