Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Dunmerdude

Search for a member

Dunmerdude

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 24 January 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1043
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Dunmerdude's page activity

Visits<b>SageMaster</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 1:30am<b>penashmul</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 1:29pm<b>pinkwho</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 10:02am<b>xxxshallowxxx</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 8:44am<b>boostedc</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 5:25pm<b>Harpy</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 4:03pm<b>Rayth</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 3:22pm<b>PotatoPal</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:58pm<b>PresidentNorth</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:39pm<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 10:42am<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 9:17am<b>poopoliciouss</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 8:54am<b>Dozer1988</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 8:31am<b>Watermelon2011</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 10:54am<b>slmchicd12</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 9:44am<b>scouttrooper8</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 7:07am<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 6:22am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 6:00am

Dunmerdude's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Dunmerdude's badges

Dunmerdude's favorite FMLs

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47354) - you deserved it (7209)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, a customer cussed me out for hiding behind the counter a jacket she's been "eyeing since it came out". She loudly exclaimed that she was going to report me to my manager and get me "fired." It was my personal jacket that we don't even sell. FML

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

#21058095
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38567) - you deserved it (5124)

On 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm - misc - by airhead2015 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I watched the Sochi Winter Games online. Excited by an athlete's victory, I yelled out, "YEAH!" to 20-or-so silent coworkers. As if to redeem myself, I then said, "Don't pretend like you're all working you lot!" Our boss was right behind me. FML

#21057961
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22756) - you deserved it (34096) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/12/2014 at 4:47am - work - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I asked my mom why she had two tooth brushes: one manual and one electric. She said: "I only use the manual one for brushing my teeth." FML

#21013669
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46186) - you deserved it (7371)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Vincent - United States (Kansas)

Today, my mom got pissed off at my doctor and called him a quack. She did this because he reassured her that I don't show any signs of the mental retardation that she's convinced herself I must have. FML

#20993646
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44319) - you deserved it (2906)

On 12/15/2013 at 4:48pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Croatia (Licko-Senjska)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He seemed thrilled, and went to buy some wine to celebrate. He left 11 hours ago and won't come back. FML

#20991978
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52301) - you deserved it (7277)

On 12/14/2013 at 2:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I would like to thank the program designer that put "Set as home page" directly under "Remove from history". FML

#20991949
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37301) - you deserved it (9940)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by The_Rest_of_the_Story (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66559) - you deserved it (5554)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my heart rate is higher while playing Tetris than it is during sex. FML

#20968767
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37789) - you deserved it (5819)

On 11/24/2013 at 7:30am - misc - by TetrisMaster - Australia

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

#20963971
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25617) - you deserved it (63489)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42727) - you deserved it (17415)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

Today, my 19-year-old, long-distance boyfriend told me he wouldn't be able to text me all day because it's too hard to type while in his Spider-Man suit. It's non-negotiable. FML

#20940116
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35474) - you deserved it (13862)

On 10/31/2013 at 10:30am - love - by AML (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: