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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17894) - you deserved it (41631)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13795) - you deserved it (54803)
On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States
Today, I was babysitting a little girl down the street. She pulled out her 'memory box', which contained many childhood treasures. After pulling out a variety of dresses and baby pictures, she says, "... and here's my belly button!" and plops an umbilical chord in my hands. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41773) - you deserved it (2269)
On 07/17/2009 at 8:12pm - kids - by heresmybellybotton (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML
I agree, your life sucks (86786) - you deserved it (17648)
On 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by anonymiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (284885) - you deserved it (28918)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because he had just gotten his tongue pierced. My grandpa heard this, winked at my boyfriend and said "Can't eat now, but I bet that's all you'll be doing in a few weeks..." My super protective father was sitting right next to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69330) - you deserved it (6940)
On 03/24/2009 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45923) - you deserved it (82029)
On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)
Monday 17 June 2013
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