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DuhFlyingPenguin

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DuhFlyingPenguin

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 29 December 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 195
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About DuhFlyingPenguin : Hi

DuhFlyingPenguin's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of DuhFlyingPenguin's badges

DuhFlyingPenguin's favorite FMLs

Today, I was wearing a letterman jacket that had my school name and "Okinawa Japan" on the back. A high school kid walks up to me and says, "I can't forgive you people for bombing Pearl Harbor." I'm black. FML

#20938215
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39644) - you deserved it (3260)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:31pm - misc - by The_FN_Gunny - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML

#20869348
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46020) - you deserved it (4632)

On 09/05/2013 at 8:29pm - love - by single again - United States (California)

Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML

#20771337
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47644) - you deserved it (3130)

On 07/08/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by Garchomp (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML

#20589296
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43592) - you deserved it (16031)

On 04/14/2013 at 1:10am - health - by NoPeeGiven - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw a woman breast feeding her child at the local park. That would have been just fine if the child wasn't at least 8 years old. FML

#20474414
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33299) - you deserved it (3430)

On 01/23/2013 at 3:33am - misc - by TheLastSerenade (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my pregnant girlfriend gave me back the ring I'd used to propose with a week ago. Her reason? She only said yes because she was worried the real father of the baby wasn't going to stick around. FML

#20192033
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37574) - you deserved it (2405)

On 12/05/2012 at 5:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was pitching at a fastpitch softball game. The other team chanted about the ball being too high and almost hitting the batter in the eye. After throwing the next pitch, the ball was savagely returned by the batter, straight into my eyes. FML

#20009467
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17151) - you deserved it (2194)

On 08/08/2012 at 12:00pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML

#19962660
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16687) - you deserved it (1138)

On 07/20/2012 at 3:58am - misc - by Grrr (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML

#19884595
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25768) - you deserved it (2054)

On 07/03/2012 at 4:03am - misc - by spiderfail - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I started my third day of a student exchange program in Belgium. My room-mate is a guy, our beds are in the same room, and he's always in and out of the bathroom. Consequently, I don't have nearly enough privacy to choke the cock, if you know what I mean. FML

#19679809
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7767) - you deserved it (23949)

On 05/25/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by MySummerinEurope (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I realized I'm too short to use the urinals at work. FML

#19416439
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26092) - you deserved it (2505)

On 04/06/2012 at 7:32am - work - by littleman (man) - United States

Today, I was sleeping over at a friend's house. I went and took a shower, and as I tried to get out, the door jammed. I called my friend for help, and after much tugging, the glass shattered all over me. She panicked and sent her dad to rescue me. It was the first time he and I had met. FML

#18666751
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23278) - you deserved it (2059)

On 12/31/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Lotje13 - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a dutch oven, with my own fart. FML

#18617290
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6980) - you deserved it (32246)

On 12/26/2011 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband threw up in the shower after drinking almost a whole bottle of wine. The shower won't drain now. Happy Thanksgiving. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML

#18078526
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38669) - you deserved it (3734)

On 10/26/2011 at 2:58am - intimacy - by Darcy (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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