DueceFire

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DueceFire

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 12 June 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 417
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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DueceFire's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:03pm

DueceFire's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

DueceFire's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

by 44haley44 / 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML

by turtle / 07/12/2011 at 9:26am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML

by muffintop / 07/10/2011 at 10:34pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, I decided to pay a surprise visit to my family after I got some work leave. I drove over and knocked on the door, and a young couple answered. Apparently, my entire family decided to move to Texas, and didn't bother to tell me. FML

by danielle887 / 07/07/2011 at 1:53am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a sweet old lady gave up her seat for me in the bus. She lectured to the entire bus that seats should be given to those in need, like myself who is heavily pregnant. I am just fat. FML

by Preggie / 07/07/2011 at 12:04am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends staged an intervention. I'm not on drugs, I'm not an alcoholic, and I own my own house. My car is paid for and my job pays well. Apparently, I need an intervention because my life is not where they want it to be, which involves me being married with children. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 7:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 7:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 2:45pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

by devilboy / 07/06/2011 at 7:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML

by wastedbaby / 07/03/2011 at 10:02pm / United States (South Carolina) / Health

Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML

by WasteOMoney / 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I left my bedroom window open to let in some fresh air while I slept. A skunk got in and sprayed my room. FML

by siannacasey / 07/03/2011 at 4:53pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got more excited when two Kit-Kat bars fell at once in a vending machine than I did when I got married. FML

by jakewr / 07/02/2011 at 12:14am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I had to make a deal with my 22 year old fiancé. What was the deal? If he put deodorant on, he could squeeze my boob for as long as he liked. FML

by NYMTS / 07/01/2011 at 7:22pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I had to make a deal with my 22 year old fiancé. What was the deal? If he put deodorant on, he could squeeze my boob for as long as he liked. FML

by NYMTS / 07/01/2011 at 7:22pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy