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DueceFire

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DueceFire

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 12 June 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 310
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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DueceFire's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:03pm

DueceFire's FML badges

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DueceFire's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

#17080549
528 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20260) - you deserved it (52248)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States

Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML

#17078585
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33225) - you deserved it (11022)

On 07/12/2011 at 9:26am - misc - by turtle - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML

#17058882
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29810) - you deserved it (12315)

On 07/10/2011 at 10:34pm - health - by muffintop (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I decided to pay a surprise visit to my family after I got some work leave. I drove over and knocked on the door, and a young couple answered. Apparently, my entire family decided to move to Texas, and didn't bother to tell me. FML

#17009779
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37993) - you deserved it (2951)

On 07/07/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by danielle887 - United States

Today, a sweet old lady gave up her seat for me in the bus. She lectured to the entire bus that seats should be given to those in need, like myself who is heavily pregnant. I am just fat. FML

#17008873
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30596) - you deserved it (21278)

On 07/07/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by Preggie - Singapore

Today, my friends staged an intervention. I'm not on drugs, I'm not an alcoholic, and I own my own house. My car is paid for and my job pays well. Apparently, I need an intervention because my life is not where they want it to be, which involves me being married with children. FML

#17004757
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35457) - you deserved it (3125)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML

#17004643
391 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39679) - you deserved it (10791)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML

#17001302
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8478) - you deserved it (71818)

On 07/06/2011 at 2:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

#16998038
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52440) - you deserved it (16510)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML

#16966151
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40629) - you deserved it (3256)

On 07/03/2011 at 10:02pm - health - by wastedbaby - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML

#16966057
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38742) - you deserved it (5561)

On 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by WasteOMoney - United States (Texas)

Today, I left my bedroom window open to let in some fresh air while I slept. A skunk got in and sprayed my room. FML

#16963316
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28084) - you deserved it (7895)

On 07/03/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by siannacasey - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got more excited when two Kit-Kat bars fell at once in a vending machine than I did when I got married. FML

#16942912
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28150) - you deserved it (17943)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:14am - love - by jakewr - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to make a deal with my 22 year old fiancé. What was the deal? If he put deodorant on, he could squeeze my boob for as long as he liked. FML

#16939716
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35639) - you deserved it (9815)

On 07/01/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by NYMTS - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to make a deal with my 22 year old fiancé. What was the deal? If he put deodorant on, he could squeeze my boob for as long as he liked. FML

#16939716
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35639) - you deserved it (9815)

On 07/01/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by NYMTS - Australia (New South Wales)



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