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Dsnake1

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Dsnake1

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1167
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

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Dsnake1's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML

#18071770
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30866) - you deserved it (6886)

On 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by beccav23 - United States (Texas)

Today, I ordered food at McDonald's. I'm on crutches, and a guy offered to carry my tray to the table. He rushed out with my food. FML

#18070361
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37156) - you deserved it (3189)

On 10/25/2011 at 4:17am - misc - by myownperson - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

#17919622
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38868) - you deserved it (10016)

On 10/06/2011 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

#17753266
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36259) - you deserved it (23325)

On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML

#17743862
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35145) - you deserved it (2426)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:34pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31014) - you deserved it (89788)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61254) - you deserved it (7523)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

#16661318
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37263) - you deserved it (3528)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by ugh - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML

#16611980
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39724) - you deserved it (5002)

On 06/11/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by Mom (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I just bought a car with all of my own money. Then, when I brought it home my dad informed me that my mom will be driving it to work every day. FML

#16522154
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43219) - you deserved it (3597)

On 06/05/2011 at 11:29pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

#15749213
781 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66847) - you deserved it (14058)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69986) - you deserved it (9649)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, we had to discuss our heritage at school. When I told the class that I am German, Japanese, and of the Jewish faith, the teacher loudly laughs at the "irony." Something like this happens whenever I tell people my background. FML

#15213017
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33108) - you deserved it (4858)

On 03/06/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get fitted for a new bra since mine weren't fitting properly. To my amazement, I wasn't a 32A, but a 32AA. I might as well have craters on my chest. FML

#15103887
457 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31699) - you deserved it (4802)

On 02/24/2011 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I found out that the white marks on my pillow aren't from me drooling in my sleep like I originally thought. My roommate used my pillow to help support her lower back during intercourse with her hookup from last night. FML

#14948689
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35251) - you deserved it (3032)

On 02/12/2011 at 11:29am - intimacy - by KaraAnn17 - United States (Ohio)



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