Dsnake1

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Dsnake1

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2577
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

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Dsnake1's FML badges

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Dsnake1's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, I learned that if you're going to use vicks vapor rub for a cold, you should remember to wash your hands before changing your tampon. FML

by sickness_sucks / 06/15/2012 at 2:19am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

by aranya / 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Intimacy

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm / Greece (Attiki) / Intimacy

Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML

by ilovemymomma / 05/26/2012 at 3:15am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2012 at 3:19pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 11:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML

by cockblocked / 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, I had a dream I was on the toilet taking the longest piss known to man. Unfortunately, it was partially true. FML

by geez_wth / 05/06/2012 at 7:54am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

by dentistrygirl / 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love

Today, I discovered something more dangerous than drivers who text: drivers who break your car windows with a bat while stopped at a red light. FML

by AngryLittleMan / 04/22/2012 at 11:00pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML

by caitlinz5 / 04/18/2012 at 12:55pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.