Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Dsnake1

Search for a member

Dsnake1

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1246
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Dsnake1's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of Dsnake1's badges

Dsnake1's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend's phone was stolen. I have no idea who I've been sexting the entire afternoon. FML

#20033737
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29143) - you deserved it (8313)

On 08/21/2012 at 11:29am - intimacy - by Sexting (man) - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head on the living room couch. Apparently his two cats didn't approve, and they started attacking my face. Luckily for him, since my boyfriend was holding my head down, his privates didn't get a scratch. FML

#20022569
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26218) - you deserved it (4879)

On 08/15/2012 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

#20022504
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16841) - you deserved it (34702)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by shelby124 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML

#20003323
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28725) - you deserved it (6012)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned that when you hear a bump in the night, it's best not to check your parents' room. Some things cannot be unseen. FML

#20001682
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14780) - you deserved it (19189)

On 08/04/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by alyssabree42 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my soon-to-be stepson, 13, decided that he and I needed to spend "more quality time" together. His idea? We should start "bonding" by taking a bath together. When I said no, he told me I was being unfair, and that if I really loved him, I'd do it. FML

#19999925
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29313) - you deserved it (2283)

On 08/03/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

#19993820
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26579) - you deserved it (4371)

On 07/31/2012 at 1:36am - kids - by mcase - United States (California)

Today, was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

#19980298
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26053) - you deserved it (10838)

On 07/23/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by nick (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and sister fooling around in the shower together. Supposedly, she was sleepwalking, and he was trying to wake her up. FML

#19890528
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42327) - you deserved it (2779)

On 07/04/2012 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, I woke up to a nude picture of my girlfriend. Once I looked at it my morning wood went away. FML

#19886014
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33093) - you deserved it (8303)

On 07/03/2012 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by bob - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to the beach with my boyfriend and family. My sister coyly pointed out the scratch marks down his back, hoping to embarrass me in front of my parents. The marks weren't from me. FML

#19873995
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28231) - you deserved it (1918)

On 07/01/2012 at 12:22am - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

#19810073
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44193) - you deserved it (4060)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband has decided to grow a mullet. FML

#19799986
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27225) - you deserved it (3260)

On 06/17/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by flyingpuppy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while giving my fiancé a hand-job, my ring got stuck in his pubes. We had to awkwardly get to the kitchen to get scissors. FML



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: