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Dsnake1's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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Dsnake1's favorite FMLs
by Sexting / 08/21/2012 at 11:29am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head on the living room couch. Apparently his two cats didn't approve, and they started attacking my face. Luckily for him, since my boyfriend was holding my head down, his privates didn't get a scratch. FML
by Anonymous / 08/15/2012 at 1:15pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML
by shelby124 / 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML
by Anonymous / 08/05/2012 at 1:33am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by alyssabree42 / 08/04/2012 at 2:56am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, my soon-to-be stepson, 13, decided that he and I needed to spend "more quality time" together. His idea? We should start "bonding" by taking a bath together. When I said no, he told me I was being unfair, and that if I really loved him, I'd do it. FML
by Anonymous / 08/03/2012 at 4:21am / United States (California) / Kids
by mcase / 07/31/2012 at 1:36am / United States (California) / Kids
by nick / 07/23/2012 at 8:52pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/04/2012 at 12:40pm / Canada (Prince Edward Island) / Intimacy
by bob / 07/03/2012 at 1:33pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by megasniper240 / 06/19/2012 at 11:35am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm / United States / Intimacy
by flyingpuppy / 06/17/2012 at 2:33am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Mega_bug / 06/16/2012 at 10:14pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…