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Dsnake1

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Dsnake1

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1069
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

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Dsnake1's favorite FMLs

Today, someone switched my hairspray with bug spray when I didn't notice. I used it. FML

#10838070
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21828) - you deserved it (5857)

On 05/29/2010 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I took pills to make sure I lasted longer with my girlfriend. Good news? It worked fine and is still working now. Bad news? We've been done for a good two hours. FML

#9516462
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11016) - you deserved it (28778)

On 03/31/2010 at 12:44am - intimacy - by imsorrylove - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend of five and a half years to family dinner at a restaurant. After we all had finished dessert, I got down on one knee, pulled out my great grandmother's ring and proposed. The entire restaurant was dead silent. She looked around and then slowly walked out. FML

#9157665
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68826) - you deserved it (5917)

On 03/17/2010 at 11:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

#9110965
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40334) - you deserved it (8394)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my roommate confronted me about my eating disorder. She described in length how emaciated my chest has become and how she wants to help. Except I don't have an eating disorder. My sternum is deformed and I have only recently become confident enough to wear low-cut tops. FML

#8940307
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33981) - you deserved it (2251)

On 03/09/2010 at 3:57am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, a drunk truck driver taught me a very valuable lesson: Never tie your shoelaces in the middle of a parking lot. FML

Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML

#8265301
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19304) - you deserved it (4859)

On 02/14/2010 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by klsdhjla (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my 8 year old nephew to Laser Tag for his birthday party. I reluctantly was forced into playing one game. Apparently, no one explained the rules to one child and instead of 'shooting' me with his laser pointer, he kicked me straight in the balls. FML

#7694418
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26801) - you deserved it (3057)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:40am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at my school, the student council is trying to raise $5000 for Haiti. They are doing so by playing the song from High School Musical in the hallways and cafeteria everyday until they get the money. FML

#7603599
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38149) - you deserved it (3898)

On 01/27/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by evil - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25411) - you deserved it (32430)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

#7101810
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7259) - you deserved it (65349)

On 01/02/2010 at 8:41am - misc - by pissfaced (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

#7084392
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25378) - you deserved it (3349)

On 01/01/2010 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by Lovergirl (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were using our skype accounts for the first time. He went to the restroom and I thought that I'd surprise him with my clothes off for when he came back. I heard him walk back into the room so I got into position. It wasn't him. It was his mom. FML

#6806655
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7368) - you deserved it (19977)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:25am - intimacy - by Jssceli09 (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was working at a restaurant when my manager approached me and informed me that there was people having sex in the women's washroom, and he needed me to go in and ask them to cut it out. So I did. Five minutes later, a woman walks out with her disabled son and asks to talk to my manager. FML

#6526778
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34043) - you deserved it (2698)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:51am - intimacy - by Janer88 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while I was in the middle of making love with my boyfriend, I mentioned bringing another lady in the picture to spice it up. He looked at me and said "let's ask your sister." He then got dressed and called her. FML

#6334893
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8812) - you deserved it (24621)

On 11/16/2009 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by 3sacrowd (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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