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Dsnake1's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/29/2010 at 9:16am / Malaysia (Selangor) / Miscellaneous
by imsorrylove / 03/31/2010 at 12:44am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I took my girlfriend of five and a half years to family dinner at a restaurant. After we all had finished dessert, I got down on one knee, pulled out my great grandmother's ring and proposed. The entire restaurant was dead silent. She looked around and then slowly walked out. FML
by Anonymous / 03/17/2010 at 11:38am / United States (Rhode Island) / Love
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
by Satan / 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, my roommate confronted me about my eating disorder. She described in length how emaciated my chest has become and how she wants to help. Except I don't have an eating disorder. My sternum is deformed and I have only recently become confident enough to wear low-cut tops. FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2010 at 3:57am / United States (Utah) / Health
by Bruised / 03/07/2010 at 1:09am / Canada (Manitoba) / Transportation
Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML
by klsdhjla / 02/14/2010 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I took my 8 year old nephew to Laser Tag for his birthday party. I reluctantly was forced into playing one game. Apparently, no one explained the rules to one child and instead of 'shooting' me with his laser pointer, he kicked me straight in the balls. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2010 at 12:40am / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, at my school, the student council is trying to raise $5000 for Haiti. They are doing so by playing the song from High School Musical in the hallways and cafeteria everyday until they get the money. FML
by evil / 01/27/2010 at 12:07am / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Hugh_Jankles / 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by pissfaced / 01/02/2010 at 8:41am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML
by Lovergirl / 01/01/2010 at 3:23pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were using our skype accounts for the first time. He went to the restroom and I thought that I'd surprise him with my clothes off for when he came back. I heard him walk back into the room so I got into position. It wasn't him. It was his mom. FML
by Jssceli09 / 12/18/2009 at 3:25am / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy
Today, I was working at a restaurant when my manager approached me and informed me that there was people having sex in the women's washroom, and he needed me to go in and ask them to cut it out. So I did. Five minutes later, a woman walks out with her disabled son and asks to talk to my manager. FML
by Janer88 / 11/30/2009 at 12:51am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, while I was in the middle of making love with my boyfriend, I mentioned bringing another lady in the picture to spice it up. He looked at me and said "let's ask your sister." He then got dressed and called her. FML
by 3sacrowd / 11/16/2009 at 10:46pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy