Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Drew167

Search for a member

Drew167
  • Town/Country : New York, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 June 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1486
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Drew167 : My names Andrew I'm 18 years old. Lacrosse, basketball, track, football, bmx, and skating is what I spend the majority of my time doing besides working. Message me if you feel the need to know more.

Drew167's last visitors

Hilda_xChantinotachinesewomanalfalfalaffaImperumakemesicswampbaby985Rozay333

Drew167's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Drew167's badges

Drew167's favorite FMLs

Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML

#20038541
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30652) - you deserved it (1481)

On 08/24/2012 at 12:08am - health - by Neurocardiogenic Syncope - Canada

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

#20015372
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28879) - you deserved it (1752)

On 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm - work - by mikeissad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally achieved the perfect hourglass figure. Too bad I'm a guy. FML

#19844120
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18966) - you deserved it (4584)

On 06/25/2012 at 10:05am - misc - by Wwiimaniac (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I noticed that my son only really looks like me when he's straining to take a dump. FML

#19835605
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16417) - you deserved it (3255)

On 06/23/2012 at 8:10pm - kids - by Gremlin (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, someone rang my doorbell. The moment I opened the door, a smell not unlike a cascading torrent of rotting flesh and urine hit my nostrils. I stood there for an eternity as a homeless man leaned on my door and desperately tried to convince me to buy an array of scrap metal from him. FML

#19824266
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16931) - you deserved it (2859)

On 06/21/2012 at 2:13pm - misc - by noquiero (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML

#19824188
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25723) - you deserved it (2401)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw my crush working the only open till at the grocery store. When she saw me approach her queue, she immediately called for more cashiers. FML

#19823688
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19320) - you deserved it (2823)

On 06/21/2012 at 11:40am - love - by rink.attendant.6 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML

#19823545
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17566) - you deserved it (920)

On 06/21/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I let my imbecile of a brother borrow my car. The keys to his car are now jammed into the ignition of mine. FML

#19821564
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19035) - you deserved it (3959)

On 06/20/2012 at 11:44pm - misc - by thesmartone - United States

Today, I let my imbecile of a brother borrow my car. The keys to his car are now jammed into the ignition of mine. FML

#19821564
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19035) - you deserved it (3959)

On 06/20/2012 at 11:44pm - misc - by thesmartone - United States

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML

#19805199
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16706) - you deserved it (2517)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:57am - love - by crazybitch - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realised that my boyfriend calls me "bitch" more often than he calls me by my actual name. FML

Today, I decided to motivate myself to workout by looking at a picture of a guy with a six-pack on my computer screen while doing abs. My dad walked in after I finished and was still breathing heavily from working out. FML

#19795313
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21079) - you deserved it (6129)

On 06/16/2012 at 1:45am - misc - by NotGay (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35069) - you deserved it (3815)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

#19788440
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45502) - you deserved it (3026)

On 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by aranya (man) - Netherlands (Overijssel)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: