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Dreamstime

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 313
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Dreamstime's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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Dreamstime's favorite FMLs

Today, I met up with my estranged father for the first time in almost 15 years. I saw him again later, while he was robbing my house. FML

by MissCharlotte / 08/21/2013 at 12:06am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

by aly55a_mariie / 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my teacher told the class that we had better like the people at our table because we would all be working together for the final group assessment. Everyone looked at me, stood up, and moved. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2013 at 2:36am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my superior gave me a box of ethernet cables which were previously attached to mainframes storing classified data. He requested I cut them in half so that the residual data would leak out. Not only does this guy make twice my salary, there was no convincing him otherwise. We cut them up. FML

by SparkOfJade / 08/13/2013 at 12:07am / United States (Maryland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, someone told me that my initials really fit my personality. I took it as a strange compliment, until I realized my initials spell "ew". FML

by ew / 08/11/2013 at 9:09am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, this weird kid in class asked me on a date. He claims to be a werewolf. His excuse for not being able to turn into one? A "rare disease." His excuse for everyone rejecting him? "Friend-zoning bitches." I was the last resort even for a jackoff "nice guy" werewolf. FML

by WHAT A NICE GUY YOU ARE, SIR SHITSPAWN!!!1! / 08/09/2013 at 6:13pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 7:10am / Latvia (Jelgavas) / Health

Today, I realized I'm getting my period pretty soon. How? I started crying and throwing plates because I thought we were out of sweet bread. FML

by FuckYouMotherNature / 08/07/2013 at 2:51am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

by ImNotFat / 08/07/2013 at 2:04am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my apparently braindead and now ex-boyfriend asked me if "this period thing" is going to happen a lot, and said that if it is, "we're so done." FML

by Crouching Tiger, Hidden Retard / 08/06/2013 at 5:55pm / United States / Love

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2013 at 2:19am / United States / Health

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

by offuckingcourse / 08/06/2013 at 1:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

by um... what the fuck, miss? / 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous