Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Dreamcatcher1229

Search for a member

Dreamcatcher1229

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 January 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1671
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Dreamcatcher1229 : Personal assistant, student, published writer (newspaper), aspiring teacher, PhD someday, devoted wife, best friend, family comes first. I promote peace, love, respect, intelligence, and understanding.

Dreamcatcher1229's page activity

Visits<b>fightingkittens</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 12:08am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 11:26pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 4:03pm<b>C3S4R_V4R3L4</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 1:51am<b>SethStrable</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 2:37am<b>jermros</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 11:43pm<b>nothinbig</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 7:55am<b>rogwest</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 2:27pm<b>Kain713</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 6:31pm<b>legoking236</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 1:30pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 10:28am<b>olpally</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 12:06am<b>Sjus</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 5:07pm<b>ArianaLuvU</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 11:02am<b>Kyled2</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 5:41pm<b>carleybeak</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 11:21am<b>moksha</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 3:52am<b>DetroitDov</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 12:34am

Dreamcatcher1229's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Dreamcatcher1229's badges

Dreamcatcher1229's favorite FMLs

Today at work I had to utter the phrase "Sir please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. mega FML

#20847854
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44252) - you deserved it (3113)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, while working at a daycare, I had to change a kid's diaper. This may seem normal fir a daycare worker, but not when it's a 7-year-old kid who is still not potty-trained an shat there pants. FML

#20846305
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44426) - you deserved it (2979)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:14pm - kids - by CrappyDay - United States

Today, my spouse asked me if I could transfer some of the passion I have 4 buffalo wings into our relationship. FML

TODAY... I BROKE INTO TEARS AT WORK AFTER BEING TOLD MAH AUNT HAD A STROKE. MY BOSS TOLD ME TO "SUCK IT UP... NO ONE IS THAT CLOSE TO THERE AUNT." MY AUNT ADOPTED ME WHEN MAH MOTHER PASSED AWAY. FML

Yesterday, after an argument with my wife, I stormd out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replacd yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML

#20843350
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38389) - you deserved it (15101)

On 08/18/2013 at 4:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

I gave mah daughter the sex talk . Barely 10 minute later.. . her public Facebook statu read: ( My mom's a total pedo . ) and after she mentioned the talk.. . her friend posted.. . ( That's sexual harassment . You can sue 4 that . ) Clerely I've failed as a parent . FML

#20840603
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50914) - you deserved it (5615)

On 08/16/2013 at 5:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

2day I Submitted Big Assignment To Teacher At 1:55pm. The Deadline Was 2pm. She Rejected It Cuz Her Watch Read A Few Minutes After 2pm And She Maintains That The Time On Her Watch Is The "real" Time. FML

#20840255
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44553) - you deserved it (11637)

On 08/16/2013 at 12:04pm - misc - by WatchOut - Singapore

looool Today, wile cleaning ma ears wit Q-tips, I came in ma pants. FML

#20835942
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48269) - you deserved it (17216)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

TODAY, I SPRAYED DOWN SOME ANTS IN MY HOUSE. IN THE SEA OF ANT CORPSE WAS A SINGLE LIVING ANT SEEMINGLY CRADLING A DEAD ONE IN ITS ARMS. I'M CONVINCED I JUST BECAME THE VILLAIN IN AN EPIC TRAGEDY. NOW I HAVE TO LIVE WITH MY ANT PROBLEM BECAUSE I CAN'T BEAR TO TEAR ANOTHER FAMILY APART. FML

#20824961
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48111) - you deserved it (23138)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on mah husband putting mah anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, looool ( I thought it'd help. ) FML

#20822001
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48789) - you deserved it (4924)

On 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by Serum - United States (Kansas)

Today, I woka up to my girlfriand grinning at ma, har hand on my junk. I grinnd back, than lookd down an saw blood smaard all ovar har hand an my junk. Aftar I startd scraaming an crying, sha laughd an said it was faka blood. Sha racordd avarything.

#20820496
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70222) - you deserved it (9278)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, the kids I was babysitting somehow found a pair of my underwear. They askd if they could use them to go parachuting. FML

#20819762
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38437) - you deserved it (6356)

On 08/04/2013 at 1:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wantd to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He droppd it and it spilld. I was really embarrassd. Then he decidd to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stard at me accusingly. big fat FML

#20819263
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43925) - you deserved it (6651)

On 08/03/2013 at 8:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

yesterday while using a restroom in Walmart, an old lady with a cane hobbled in screaming, "I smell someone looool making sin!" She would not stop tapping on the door with her cane till I cummed out . FML

#20808725
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41673) - you deserved it (2770)

On 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm - health - by DreamStatic - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When mah 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants an peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out 4 upsetting her. FML

#20806438
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55207) - you deserved it (4259)

On 07/27/2013 at 2:31pm - kids - by poopiter (woman) - United States (Colorado)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: