Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Draxanoth

Offline (the 11/24/2015 at 4:22am) | Search for a member

Draxanoth

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 13 July 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4613
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Draxanoth's page activity

Visits<b>JadeOmega</b> - yesterday at 4:46pm<b>Plastinate</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 7:35am<b>soveryunoriginal</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 1:03pm<b>missadell</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 5:54pm<b>cecesavannah2015</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 2:16am<b>Devyn333</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 2:28am<b>peceout</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 2:04pm<b>axfabxdisaster</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 3:09pm<b>cummeariver</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 11:01pm<b>miaaxoxxo</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 8:09am<b>howtobestupid</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 10:57am<b>PickledSweets</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 2:11pm<b>eddie367</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 1:50pm<b>TheAtomicBomb</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 9:10pm<b>ITmistress</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:02am<b>lochiamochia</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 8:31am<b>HackNSlashHD</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 1:45pm<b>atav</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:28pm

Draxanoth's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Draxanoth's badges

Draxanoth's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife confused terminology from my religion with stuff from Harry Potter. FML

#20127336
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13111) - you deserved it (19602)

On 10/21/2012 at 9:21pm - misc - by nickw177 (man) - United States

Today, after saving up for weeks, I bought myself an iPad. Because mine is better than the one my parents bought my ten-year-old brother, he got pissed and threw it into our pool. I'm now grounded for getting angry and calling him a bastard in the aftermath. FML

#20112275
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39108) - you deserved it (2582)

On 10/11/2012 at 4:37pm - misc - by future missing person maker person thingy (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

#20091837
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27319) - you deserved it (3554)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I collected my students' notes in class to check them. One girl, who is always drawing weird anime crap in her sketchbook, turned in just one piece of paper that read, "FUCK YOUR CLASS." FML

#20076781
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20291) - you deserved it (22216)

On 09/17/2012 at 8:21pm - work - by Mrs. Teacher (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21494) - you deserved it (50594)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

#20052579
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36902) - you deserved it (11393)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39816) - you deserved it (11520) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head on the living room couch. Apparently his two cats didn't approve, and they started attacking my face. Luckily for him, since my boyfriend was holding my head down, his privates didn't get a scratch. FML

#20022569
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29941) - you deserved it (5306)

On 08/15/2012 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

#20015372
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37216) - you deserved it (2333)

On 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm - work - by mikeissad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my fiancé's grandmother kept trying to introduce him to this "simply absolutely amazing girl," who she thought "would be just the perfect date" for him. At our engagement party. FML

#19931500
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30801) - you deserved it (1903)

On 07/13/2012 at 2:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34085) - you deserved it (4021)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42531) - you deserved it (4517)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML

#19637447
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15718) - you deserved it (27620)

On 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML

#19586113
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33016) - you deserved it (5135)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: