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Draxanoth

Offline (the 01/27/2015 at 9:39am) | Search for a member

Draxanoth

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 13 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3482
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Draxanoth's page activity

Visits<b>cummeariver</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 11:01pm<b>miaaxoxxo</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 8:09am<b>howtobestupid</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 10:57am<b>PickledSweets</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 2:11pm<b>eddie367</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 1:50pm<b>TheAtomicBomb</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 9:10pm<b>ITmistress</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:02am<b>lochiamochia</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 8:31am<b>HackNSlashHD</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 1:45pm<b>atav</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:28pm<b>A_Dead_Fish32</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:48am<b>therosalina</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 9:50am<b>feven</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 8:32am<b>NotAUser</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 4:47am<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 4:05am<b>slingerslasher</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:22am<b>tmd4L</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:34am<b>Soulsbane96</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:33am

Draxanoth's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Draxanoth's badges

Draxanoth's favorite FMLs

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

#20482358
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51382) - you deserved it (14516)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31467) - you deserved it (5391)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20882) - you deserved it (38221)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50477) - you deserved it (4848)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, I bought myself a pair of beautiful, hand-crafted earrings with lighthouses on them. My mother was quick to point out the lighthouses look like dicks. I don't think I can ever wear them again. FML

Today, at a house party, I finally got the guy I've been seeing alone in his room. We started making out, and I got on top of him to take control. He responded by saying he couldn't do it because he needed to go make pizza for his friends, and then bolted out of the room. FML

#20438672
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40092) - you deserved it (9235)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7410) - you deserved it (32577)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

#20165849
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29071) - you deserved it (5536)

On 11/16/2012 at 8:06pm - work - by wow @ creepy fuckers (man) - United States

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

#20147554
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23773) - you deserved it (2807)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by i fking love docb - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

#20138384
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28636) - you deserved it (1840)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

#20127667
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28746) - you deserved it (1510)

On 10/22/2012 at 12:07am - work - by Lunazel93 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife confused terminology from my religion with stuff from Harry Potter. FML

#20127336
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10658) - you deserved it (17490)

On 10/21/2012 at 9:21pm - misc - by nickw177 (man) - United States

Today, after saving up for weeks, I bought myself an iPad. Because mine is better than the one my parents bought my ten-year-old brother, he got pissed and threw it into our pool. I'm now grounded for getting angry and calling him a bastard in the aftermath. FML

#20112275
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36221) - you deserved it (2377)

On 10/11/2012 at 4:37pm - misc - by future missing person maker person thingy (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)



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