Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Draxanoth

Online | Search for a member

Draxanoth

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 13 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1482
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Draxanoth's page activity

Visits<b>eddie367</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 1:50pm<b>TheAtomicBomb</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 9:10pm<b>ITmistress</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:02am<b>lochiamochia</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 8:31am<b>HackNSlashHD</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 1:45pm<b>atav</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:28pm<b>A_Dead_Fish32</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:48am<b>therosalina</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 9:50am<b>feven</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 8:32am<b>NotAUser</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 4:47am<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 4:05am<b>slingerslasher</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:22am<b>tmd4L</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:34am<b>Soulsbane96</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:33am<b>RainbowxxVeinsx</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:08am<b>BBlah</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 11:50pm<b>zuka</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 7:56am<b>Pwib</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 2:52am

Draxanoth's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Draxanoth's badges

Draxanoth's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

#20091837
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23449) - you deserved it (3181)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19330) - you deserved it (46995)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

#20052579
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33011) - you deserved it (10268)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35731) - you deserved it (10421) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head on the living room couch. Apparently his two cats didn't approve, and they started attacking my face. Luckily for him, since my boyfriend was holding my head down, his privates didn't get a scratch. FML

#20022569
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26148) - you deserved it (4870)

On 08/15/2012 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

#20015372
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33363) - you deserved it (2061)

On 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm - work - by mikeissad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my fiancé's grandmother kept trying to introduce him to this "simply absolutely amazing girl," who she thought "would be just the perfect date" for him. At our engagement party. FML

#19931500
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26961) - you deserved it (1619)

On 07/13/2012 at 2:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29875) - you deserved it (3575)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37229) - you deserved it (4005)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML

#19586113
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29206) - you deserved it (4675)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML

#19579357
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10409) - you deserved it (32370)

On 05/05/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by mhm (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML

#19563224
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6722) - you deserved it (87573)

On 05/02/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by f*ck (man) - United States

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

#19554232
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8425) - you deserved it (54794)

On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw a picture of a dude on a Harley on my friend's wall. I asked her if it was Dog the bounty hunter. It wasn't, it was her aunt. FML



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: