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Draven69's FML badges
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Draven69's favorite FMLs
Today, I finally hooked up with the guy that I have been in love with forever. If there is such a thing as soul mates, this guy is it. He's my best friend in the whole world. It was the worst sex I have ever had. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2013 at 11:34am / United States / Intimacy
Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML
by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy
by WeHitTurbulence / 03/08/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML
by Acolyte of the Bacon God / 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by mydadsgonnakillme / 02/08/2013 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML
by Drewbie / 01/13/2013 at 3:53am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
by frustrated / 01/13/2013 at 1:39am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm / Ireland (Waterford) / Intimacy
Today, my father bet me $200 that since my boyfriend is "such a stupid shit," he wouldn't be able to locate Paraguay on a map. I gladly accepted the bet. Not only did he not know where it is, he actually accused us of making the country up. FML
by dating a fucking idiot / 09/08/2012 at 3:16pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/08/2012 at 7:38am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML
by WaxOnWaxOff / 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
by onorexveritas / 09/06/2012 at 12:54pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML
by UnknownOperation / 09/04/2012 at 9:51am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. I've been secretly taking Welsh lessons as a surprise for him, so when I was getting close, I whispered the Welsh for "Don't stop." He pulled out and accused me of cheating on him with his best friend. He won't believe anything else. FML
by gingerbetty / 09/04/2012 at 3:54am / United Kingdom (Swansea) / Intimacy
- Today, after putting in so much effort to forgive my husband for his affair, we had sex. Not even 2… Today, I'm staying at my grandparents' house. I went upstairs to grab my sketchbook to show off to… Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why it is inappropriate for her to go skinny dipping with…