Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Drake_The_Dragon

Offline (yesterday at 9:49pm) | Search for a member

Drake_The_Dragon

3Liked!

Drake_The_DragonDrake_The_Dragon
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 January 1935 (79 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1183
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About Drake_The_Dragon : Socially awkward, so spends her time on the internet.

Drake_The_Dragon's page activity

Visits<b>bdubow55</b> - 23 hours ago<b>ARTIC1302</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 6:26pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 6:06pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 11:39pm<b>zuka</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 11:37pm<b>Stoppy23</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 4:51pm<b>RocketmanWelbz</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 4:26pm<b>michouchoubou</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 11:02am<b>abattior</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 9:03pm<b>Sophia813</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 5:34pm<b>GodPart2</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 4:27pm<b>adamwilcockson</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 9:25am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 4:18pm<b>FreestylePython</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 3:14am<b>obeykiddsmalls</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 12:25am<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 4:26pm<b>Manosapo</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 2:24pm<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 2:22am

Liked!<b>WillowB47</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 4:06am<b>cassiecassie559</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 3:48am<b>totallylosing</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 6:02pm

Drake_The_Dragon's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Drake_The_Dragon's badges

Drake_The_Dragon's favorite FMLs

Today, I replied to a party invite. I thought I was only replying to the hostess, who's a close friend, so added a P. S. about a recent sex toy purchase I'd made and how rubbish it had been. I only realised after pressing "Send" that I'd selected "Reply All". FML

#21271313
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22712) - you deserved it (33208)

On 10/05/2014 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41622) - you deserved it (7857)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I wore a tank top for the first time in a few years. It turned out even worse than the last time. I got insulted by several people over my "Never say never" upper chest tattoo, which I got years ago, before the words ever became associated with a certain douchy Canadian pop "singer". FML

#21230914
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42169) - you deserved it (9143)

On 08/06/2014 at 12:45pm - misc - by beaverfever (man) - Poland (Zachodniopomorskie)

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

#21227114
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43303) - you deserved it (7024)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

#21226906
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33871) - you deserved it (22528)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML

#21224311
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34404) - you deserved it (5915)

On 07/29/2014 at 11:49pm - work - by dealtit - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML

#21218479
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51823) - you deserved it (4343)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML

Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML

Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML

#21212155
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48059) - you deserved it (6174)

On 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm - animals - by kittynapper - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

#21211381
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36199) - you deserved it (17573)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm - misc - by happypineapple - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41553) - you deserved it (6141)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

#21191137
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38857) - you deserved it (7074)

On 06/28/2014 at 2:28am - health - by Madridsta - United States (California)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52089) - you deserved it (16845)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: