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DragonText

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DragonText
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 188
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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DragonText's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41073) - you deserved it (4812)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

#20865525
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39533) - you deserved it (4318)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise, explaining that another shop offered me a job at a higher rate, but I would stay if he would offer me the same. Instead, he fired me then called the other shop and said I was fired for failing a drug test. FML

#20857270
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49806) - you deserved it (6251)

On 08/27/2013 at 11:21pm - work - by nowork - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61783) - you deserved it (6193)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the Giants game. During the seventh inning stretch they showed me on the jumbo-tron. It was just in time for the entire stadium to see me pull a tampon out of my purse. FML

#20799228
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58054) - you deserved it (7551)

On 07/23/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by GiantsFan13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was stumbling down the street due to arthritic pain, when I accidentally bumped into a man. He turned and yelled, "Watch it, you clumsy, ugly bitch", to which I apologised and told him about my arthritis. He stared at me in confusion, then said, "Well, you're still ugly", and walked off. FML

#20785828
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48682) - you deserved it (3298)

On 07/16/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48958) - you deserved it (8615)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53094) - you deserved it (9596)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

#20744476
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45227) - you deserved it (12833)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - Belgium

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

#20742647
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49844) - you deserved it (3522)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by o_O (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

#20733893
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40776) - you deserved it (19518)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm - animals - by CatLover<3 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

#20723415
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45481) - you deserved it (2981)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML

#20581880
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60976) - you deserved it (7851)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - intimacy - by saywhat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16537) - you deserved it (53579)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version



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