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Drag0nb0rn

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Drag0nb0rn
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 368
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Drag0nb0rn's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally walked in on my mom cheating on my step-dad with my real dad. FML

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

#21116703
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36415) - you deserved it (5714)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML

#21110214
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31844) - you deserved it (4716)

On 04/11/2014 at 10:51am - misc - by Gomer (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my teacher used an online program and accused me of plagiarism. According to the program, I plagiarized my own last name. FML

Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML

#21107739
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44657) - you deserved it (3140)

On 04/08/2014 at 4:13pm - kids - by vreenya (woman) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, I got up early in the morning to get a snack, only to walk in on my "vegan" housemate eating a turkey sandwich. This bastard harasses me every other day about my meat-eating, but all he could do after he noticed me was drop the sandwich and claim he'd been sleepwalking. FML

#21104594
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36450) - you deserved it (2722)

On 04/04/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by fuck you with a bacon cock (man) - United Kingdom (Moray)

Today, my mother taught my 98-year-old great-uncle to knock on the wall if he needs us. He can't remember who we are; but every hour he can remember to knock to ask, "Is it breakfast yet?" FML

#21089766
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34737) - you deserved it (3392)

On 03/18/2014 at 4:36am - misc - by can't sleep - United States (Indiana)

Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML

#21086172
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39673) - you deserved it (5034)

On 03/14/2014 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we had a surprise party for my boss. Someone turned out all the lights. I was so scared of the dark, the first thing my boss saw when he walked in was all my co-workers watching me scream, "TURN IT ON!" FML

#21083937
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31427) - you deserved it (14174)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML

#21076929
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39918) - you deserved it (3962)

On 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm - work - by Biologyfacepalm (woman) - United States

Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Bird. I was so excited at being about to beat my high score that I got a hard-on. FML

#21074219
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37169) - you deserved it (16477)

On 02/28/2014 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47016) - you deserved it (3523)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a guy called customer support, claiming his internet wasn't working. I asked for his customer details, and he gave his name as Mike Hunt. I recognized the old joke, called him an idiot, and hung up on him. It turned out that was his real name. I'm now on suspension. FML

#21060478
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24682) - you deserved it (30208)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML

#21057323
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42515) - you deserved it (5202)

On 02/11/2014 at 4:50pm - love - by not even getting any of her shrimp (man) - United States (Utah)



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