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Drag0nb0rn

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Drag0nb0rn

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  • Number of visits : 1353
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Drag0nb0rn's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

#21242605
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40019) - you deserved it (4822)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML

#21219507
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38356) - you deserved it (15753)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:23pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

#21205080
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48985) - you deserved it (4731)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went on a date with this girl. Turns out she's a software developer, too. Our date became a technical discussion. FML

#21195553
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38955) - you deserved it (10409)

On 07/01/2014 at 9:20pm - love - by devdevdev (man) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Today, I had to explain what "cashback" was to a customer. She called me a liar and wanted to talk to a manager because she felt I made up the concept. I'm the manager. She wouldn't believe me and waited in the store for an hour. Apparently this is what a Masters degree gets me. FML

#21194527
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46208) - you deserved it (4046)

On 07/01/2014 at 12:26am - work - by where do they come from - United States (Washington)

Today, after nearly three weeks of hard work, I finally completed my best drawing yet, a self-portrait. I was incredibly excited to take it to class tomorrow. That is, until I came home from a walk later on, only to find my brother had drawn a stick figure on it, wanking into my face. FML

#21192529
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42141) - you deserved it (3870)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:08pm - work - by ~~~ (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

#21187944
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46652) - you deserved it (12166)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by fredfredburger (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got written up for drinking on the job by a manager who drinks on the job, who was told to write me up by a general manager who drinks on the job, and we are all employed by an owner who drinks on the job. I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks. FML

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56407) - you deserved it (7936)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42490) - you deserved it (4393)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

#21180214
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54851) - you deserved it (4318)

On 06/19/2014 at 1:28am - love - by professorsdaughter - United States (Washington)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52330) - you deserved it (4603)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got called a slut. I don't know what is worse, the fact I was called it or that I felt strangely flattered that the person thought I was getting any. FML

Today, I decided to tell my family, including my husband, that I'm pregnant. Their reaction was basically a "meh" before returning to watching the World Cup. FML

#21176835
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45463) - you deserved it (8967)

On 06/16/2014 at 2:50pm - misc - by FMeeee (woman) - Portugal (Aveiro)

Today, the girl who broke up with me and disappeared 6 years ago wished me a happy Father's Day. FML

#21176638
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50852) - you deserved it (5797)

On 06/16/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by IneedMaury (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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