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Dra9onPhenix's favorite FMLs
Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML
by Urgghh / 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML
by Anonymous / 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I was sitting next to an attractive man. Much to my surprise, he started stroking his foot against mine. I was happy at the flirting because I've been attracted to him forever, so I played along. That's when he stood up and explained he was trying to stretch out a cramp. FML
by Redfaced / 05/15/2013 at 12:54pm / United Kingdom (Walsall) / Intimacy
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- Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding… Today, I went on a third date with this guy, hoping I'd finally get some action. I got a high five.… Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I…