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About Dr_Adorable : I like to read while sitting on a pile of skulls.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I texted her and I would never talk to her again. But I accidentally sent it to my other best friend, who responded, "I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to find out". My two best friends cheated with my boyfriend. FML
Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the direct sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML
Today, I cut my finger deep on an envelope at work and started bleeding profusely. When I asked my co-worker for a band-aid, she told me to get back to work and stop making up excuses to try and hit on her. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by creating an account on Runescape; his favorite game. After finding him in-game, I started talking to him, not revealing who I was. After a while, I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He promptly said no and asked me for nude pics. FML
Today, it was both my and my stepmother's birthday. In preparation, my dad bought a huge banner with my stepmother's name on it, and a lovely birthday cake. When I told him it was also my birthday, he just grunted and taped a post-it note to the banner with my name on it. Same with the cake. FML
Today, my mom and I tried out Just Dance 2 on the Wii. When we both threw out our hands at the same time, my mom's Wii remote hit my hand and ripped my finger nail. As I stared at the bloody, half hanging off nail, my mom muttered, "You should have stayed in your dance space." FML
Today, I cried harder than I have in years. I was babysitting, and watching Pokémon to pass the time. It was the episode where Ash, Dawn, and Brock on the show went their separate ways, and may never be together again. FML
Today, I got chickenpox. I'm 28 and having chickenpox as an adult is excruciatingly painful. When I told my boss I wasn't going to be at work today because of chickenpox he replied, "That's the worst excuse I've ever heard. Adults don't get chickenpox." He then fired me. FML
Friday 19 September 2014