About Dr_Adorable : I like to read while sitting on a pile of skulls.
Dr_Adorable's FML badges
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Dr_Adorable's favorite FMLs
by jdawn99 / 10/22/2013 at 10:24am / United States (Kansas) / Kids
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML
by I think its dead / 01/15/2013 at 2:33am / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML
by Drewbie / 01/13/2013 at 3:53am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
by nekkidness / 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by poorkids / 10/31/2012 at 1:01am / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML
by afraidtosleep / 10/13/2012 at 2:35am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML
by disgusted / 10/04/2012 at 7:24pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML
by AGeeksWife / 09/12/2012 at 3:03am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML
by Loserbot / 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML
by cl4ptp / 08/14/2012 at 8:17am / United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The) / Intimacy
Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML
by banana2894 / 08/10/2012 at 12:40am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/08/2012 at 1:59am / United States / Animals
Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML
by NaKreen / 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Miscellaneous
by tuggernuts / 07/17/2012 at 11:32am / United States / Intimacy
- Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me…