Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DrHail

Offline (the 08/20/2014 at 3:30am) | Search for a member

DrHail

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1459
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

About DrHail : I am Swedish, Polish and Norwegian. I am a burlesque performer. I like black and green. My favourite music is Black/Folk/Death/Power Metal, also 80s goth and goth metal. I play video games, and bass guitar. I am also taken, so no thanks, I am here to read FMLs.
No wee little kids.
I love Peter Steele and Deadpool. My wet dreams.

DrHail's page activity

Visits<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 8:18pm<b>yourbestguess</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 1:54pm<b>Myndiva</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 4:44pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 11:54pm<b>michaelaranda</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 1:37pm<b>aam40</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 2:18am<b>misleadingname</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 9:08am<b>LissaMccracken</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 9:15pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 12:53pm<b>inner_peace</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 10:46am<b>BFons</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 2:31pm<b>KaylaLevin57</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 9:44pm<b>Arni792</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 8:24am<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:53pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:45am<b>lisaint</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:58pm<b>dextrementor</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 11:36pm<b>colerean</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 6:10pm

DrHail's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of DrHail's badges

DrHail's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49125) - you deserved it (21239)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was in a restaurant bathroom, when another girl walked in. I have anxiety issues, and couldn't leave my stall until the other person went first. She rushed into a stall and had violent diarrhea for a good 10 minutes. FML

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML

#21199181
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50433) - you deserved it (4833)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

#21171240
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46434) - you deserved it (6988)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend complained all day about being bored, so wanting to cheer him up, I put on some sexy clothes and went to his house. I got on his bed in my underwear and called him over. He quickly decided he'd rather play Diablo for the next five hours instead. FML

#21162704
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51947) - you deserved it (7531)

On 06/04/2014 at 11:52am - intimacy - by Justawoman (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML

#21154464
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46658) - you deserved it (5598)

On 05/28/2014 at 10:21am - love - by needanotherbed - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, a customer cussed me out for hiding behind the counter a jacket she's been "eyeing since it came out". She loudly exclaimed that she was going to report me to my manager and get me "fired." It was my personal jacket that we don't even sell. FML

Today, an angry customer threw her sticky toffee pudding at the wall and pointed out that because it didn't stick, it was not really a "sticky" toffee pudding, and that she'd been mislead. FML

#21123022
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35392) - you deserved it (2893)

On 04/25/2014 at 9:21pm - work - by stickyservice (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40425) - you deserved it (7953)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21866) - you deserved it (53826)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

#21112406
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41395) - you deserved it (6776)

On 04/13/2014 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML

#21105078
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67216) - you deserved it (6407)

On 04/05/2014 at 10:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my favorite band logo is no longer being used by said band because of copyright issues. I have this logo tattooed on my body. FML

#21100070
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23602) - you deserved it (51778)

On 03/30/2014 at 10:27am - misc - by Cult (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wife got her period. Every single time, she ends up asking me to go buy her some midol after a few days of trying to tough it out, so I decided to buy her some ahead of time. She reacted by yelling at me for treating her like a child and implying that she couldn't go buy it herself. FML

#21098714
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41449) - you deserved it (4542)

On 03/28/2014 at 5:43pm - love - by unappreciated husband (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42771) - you deserved it (6411)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: