About DrDoofenshmirtz : Aren't you a little old to be watching Phineas and Ferb?: Yes, yes I am.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was texting while making dinner. I went to pour the noodles into the boiling water and I dropped my phone in. Not thinking, I went to retrieve it from the water. I now have a completely useless phone and a useless hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7638) - you deserved it (24201)
On 11/11/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25118) - you deserved it (2377)
On 11/08/2009 at 2:26am - animals - by birdbath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I overheard my best friend's wife telling their kids to pay attention in school and stay focused on their goals so they don't end up a failure in life like their father's friend, Matt. Hi, my name is Matt and I'm the friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20970) - you deserved it (3615)
On 11/06/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I found out that my best friend and the guy I had a crush on for 2 years are getting married. The worst part is that they've been dating for 2 years in secret, and just came out about it now. I've been telling her for 2 years how much I like him, and she's encouraged me the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40517) - you deserved it (3007)
On 11/03/2009 at 8:12pm - love - by Uknowwh (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7220) - you deserved it (27946)
On 10/26/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by munchkin - Sent from mobile version
Today, my mother said she trusted me enough to go with me for my first drive in my new car. As soon as we got in the car, she started hyperventilating and screaming we're going to crash. I didn't even start the engine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27018) - you deserved it (2087)
On 10/10/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32014) - you deserved it (11978)
On 09/22/2009 at 12:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house for the first time. I had to use the restroom, and when I came back, I mocked her brothers' lame Pokémon shower curtain and Ninja Turtle towels. Turns out they were hers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5939) - you deserved it (42773)
On 09/20/2009 at 10:28pm - love - by newlydumped (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was strolling past an old women when from behind she called "can you help me get the rest of the groceries out of the car?" I approached the car, and helped her un-load bags. She began hitting me, screaming "SOMEONE IS STEALING MY THINGS". She was actually asking her son in the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32369) - you deserved it (4333)
On 08/30/2009 at 11:32pm - misc - by LGFLIPSTER (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by sending me a Bumper Sticker on Facebook that said "Bitch, let's get married". FML
I agree, your life sucks (47914) - you deserved it (5685)
On 08/30/2009 at 12:40pm - love - by mylifesucks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40107) - you deserved it (123107)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43173) - you deserved it (13042)
On 08/18/2009 at 1:02am - animals - by anugla (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was home alone and I started to sing Halo by Beyonce. I was starting to get into it and began singing with more passion until the phone rang. It was my neighbor begging me to please shut the hell up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11208) - you deserved it (28593)
On 08/16/2009 at 9:00pm - misc - by Ricky (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55681) - you deserved it (3247)
On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I was pretending to use the force to operate the elevator at my hotel, getting really into it. Someone was waiting to get on at my floor and saw me. Not to mention the staff now brings it up every time I'm around. Apparently they have cameras in their elevators. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6348) - you deserved it (34284)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:16pm - misc - by beckzx58 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Friday 24 May 2013
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