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About DrDoofenshmirtz : Aren't you a little old to be watching Phineas and Ferb?: Yes, yes I am.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29983) - you deserved it (3515)
On 11/29/2010 at 10:03pm - kids - by Laura -
Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After about minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37565) - you deserved it (12720)
On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22616) - you deserved it (3800)
On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)
Today, I sent the girl I like a Twinkie with a note saying "Enjoy! You deserve it". I found out later through an angry email that someone had written "you damn fatty" on the end of the note. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19944) - you deserved it (4568)
On 10/29/2010 at 7:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27600) - you deserved it (15694)
On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32014) - you deserved it (7096)
On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)
Today, we were in the car with my puppy, who favours my sister. She had been sat on her lap for a while, when she stood up and climbed onto my lap. I was really pleased until she peed on me and then went straight back to my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22042) - you deserved it (1993)
On 09/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by PuppyPeeTimee. - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23232) - you deserved it (20146)
On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36706) - you deserved it (10616)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, while I was driving my 27 year old boyfriend 8 hours to a Pokémon event, he realized he didn't bring his DS with him. He cried about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31602) - you deserved it (14208)
On 07/24/2010 at 1:47pm - love - by juli (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34530) - you deserved it (5909)
On 05/14/2010 at 7:28pm - love - by Cheese4men - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23746) - you deserved it (4788)
On 03/13/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my mum decided to teach me a lesson about carelessly leaving my wallet about. She left it on the floor so our puppy could use it and its contents as a chew toy. I was almost impressed to discover that he can eat three £20 notes and still have room for debit cards. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16004) - you deserved it (5912)
On 03/10/2010 at 1:37pm - money - by MR (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I woke up because I really had to pee. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom and went back to bed. Or so I thought. I did pee, but I only dreamed that I got out of bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21757) - you deserved it (2730)
On 03/10/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by watersport (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my parents took my laptop, cut the Internet, took my car keys and TV, and removed my bedroom door. Why? Because they thought the plant I was growing for my science project was a marijuana plant. Oh yeah, they took that too. My presentation is tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23580) - you deserved it (1539)
On 03/10/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by Kevin - Canada (Manitoba)
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