Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Dougie_Bee

Offline (one hour ago) | Search for a member

Dougie_Bee

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5343
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Dougie_Bee : Hey! It's Douglas here.
"About You" sections in profiles really annoy me because I never know what to include.

Message me for any reason at all or just to get to know me.

Dougie_Bee's page activity

Visits<b>funsizedliz</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Cherryta</b> - yesterday at 11:30pm<b>uzee</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 5:11pm<b>Purrrvana</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 3:27pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 4:36am<b>OysterPearls</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 4:34pm<b>peanuty001</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 2:10pm<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 9:41am<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 6:11pm<b>sh07</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 12:23pm<b>hemonnne</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 3:12pm<b>eddyinfinity</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 2:12am<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 1:05pm<b>crazyjasmine24</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 12:50pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 5:28am<b>BossMindedFemale</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 3:04am<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:14am<b>Theseattlerain</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 11:15pm

Fucked!<b>funsizedliz</b> - 2 hours ago

Dougie_Bee's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of Dougie_Bee's badges

Dougie_Bee's favorite FMLs

Today, teachers were pulling students out of class to announce valedictorian, salutatorian, and other awards for graduation. I got pulled out of class by one of them, and I got a little excited since I wasn't expecting an award. It was to tell me that my sister was staying after school. FML

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

#21397883
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31974) - you deserved it (2217)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML

#21397872
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24652) - you deserved it (4344)

On 04/22/2015 at 9:39am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad woke me up at 5am saying that there was dog shit on the carpet. I thought it was just a clever ruse to get me into the living room for a birthday surprise. It wasn't. There really was dog shit that I had to clean up, with no "Happy birthday"s even uttered. FML

#21397338
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27269) - you deserved it (2272)

On 04/21/2015 at 8:51am - animals - by 21ShitCleaner - United States (California)

Today, after a relaxing week away, my husband and I came home to discover our 17 year old son crashed one of our cars against the other. FML

#21396823
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25277) - you deserved it (2956)

On 04/20/2015 at 12:57pm - money - by ihatekids - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my exchange student asked me for a ride to a party at a friend's house that I didn't know about. When I said, "Oh, just let me change", she replied, "I just need the ride, you're not invited." FML

#21396492
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28747) - you deserved it (2661)

On 04/19/2015 at 9:46pm - misc - by me - Canada

Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML

#21350765
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19817) - you deserved it (36127)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:06am - work - by fucked - Singapore

Today, I met my new roommate. I hadn't even gotten her name yet, because the first thing she said to me instead was that she wanted to hang her confederate flag on the wall. I'm black. FML

#21326235
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35542) - you deserved it (4295)

On 12/29/2014 at 12:00am - misc - by okay17 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

#21326143
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30604) - you deserved it (15317)

On 12/28/2014 at 9:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my girlfriend decided to treat me out to dinner and cake for my birthday. My mom felt left out and yelled at my girlfriend in an angry tirade. My girlfriend went home. I'm spending my birthday, alone in my room. FML

#21313391
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31961) - you deserved it (2392)

On 12/07/2014 at 9:18pm - misc - by Haitwun (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML

#21310827
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36811) - you deserved it (3494)

On 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm - work - by WTF - United States (Texas)

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

#21306254
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36012) - you deserved it (5983)

On 11/26/2014 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

#21292947
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37826) - you deserved it (2659)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Purple (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

#21292789
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28989) - you deserved it (3332)

On 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by aineroo (woman) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, I looked at my twelve-year-old daughter's test. One of the question was, "When is a good time to worry about your parents?" Her answer was, "When they take selfies, because selfies aren't made for old people." FML

#21292082
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30205) - you deserved it (5600)

On 11/04/2014 at 4:48pm - kids - by The Selfie Parent - Canada (Newfoundland)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: