Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Double2

Search for a member

Double2
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1849
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Double2's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of Double2's badges

Double2's favorite FMLs

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39535) - you deserved it (5589)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a coffee shop. As I headed over to stand in line, I tripped over my own feet. I got back up, then tripped up yet again. Everyone was staring, and I was so mortified that I went to leave. I then struggled with the door under their glares before realising it opened the other way. FML

#21094549
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38768) - you deserved it (5611)

On 03/23/2014 at 7:02pm - misc - by butterbody - United Kingdom

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24167) - you deserved it (53317)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

#21051355
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39710) - you deserved it (20488)

On 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Evolution mama (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML

#21035329
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44835) - you deserved it (8209)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by MM - United States (Maine)

Today, I found out that whenever my ex-wife is late getting the kids to school, she tells them to tell their teachers they were with me, and forges my name on the sign-in sheet. Missing homework? Dad's house. Forgot to bring something important? Ditto. The school thinks I'm a horrible parent. FML

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML

#21023934
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44401) - you deserved it (8167)

On 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

#21021931
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37923) - you deserved it (11547)

On 01/08/2014 at 10:23pm - misc - by chapstick (man) - United States (California)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. They thought it would be funny to pretend that they're nudists. FML

#21021758
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45134) - you deserved it (3970)

On 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm - misc - by loganHchrist - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53671) - you deserved it (22227)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML

#21016927
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38265) - you deserved it (15055)

On 01/04/2014 at 6:43pm - misc - by awkwardpartybear (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

#21016902
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41899) - you deserved it (4557)

On 01/04/2014 at 6:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while visiting my grandparents, my grandpa decided to explain to me the real reason that the old sofa I was sitting on had always been so discolored. He says they were bleach stains left while cleaning up the mess made during my father's conception. FML

#21015718
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35753) - you deserved it (2940)

On 01/03/2014 at 5:36pm - misc - by estranger (woman) - United States

Today, I learned that just because you live on a different continent, it doesn't mean your mother won't come knocking when you are having sex. FML

#20989004
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47769) - you deserved it (3833)

On 12/11/2013 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by hi Mum - United States (South Carolina)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: