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Double2

Offline (the 08/17/2015 at 6:39am) | Search for a member

Double2

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 4280
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Double2's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML

#21456687
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25422) - you deserved it (2590)

On 08/16/2015 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I was doing laundry while my boyfriend was sitting at the table playing on his phone. I glanced over and caught him watching my ass as I put clothes in the dryer. Trying to be sexy, I looked at him as I slowly bent over to put more clothes in. Instead, I hit my head hard on the dryer door. FML

#21449270
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25187) - you deserved it (7096)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:34pm - intimacy - by RuasaLove - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML

#21442690
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32032) - you deserved it (4212)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm - kids - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML

#21428714
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26817) - you deserved it (3705)

On 06/19/2015 at 6:21pm - misc - by baberuth - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

Today, at work, I was about to close a big sale, when a coworker rushed over and said there was a call for me in the office. He heavily implied my mom had died, and I rushed out. After I figured out there was no call and that my mom was fine, he'd already stolen my sale and the commission. FML

#21410601
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35489) - you deserved it (2015)

On 05/15/2015 at 4:58pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I emotionally confessed to the guy I like. His English isn't that good, so he asked me to repeat it several times. He ended up telling me no. FML

#21407219
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28291) - you deserved it (2552)

On 05/09/2015 at 11:53am - love - by ForeverAlone - Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

#21406233
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32739) - you deserved it (5376)

On 05/07/2015 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by pleasedie - United States (Florida)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

#21405462
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29380) - you deserved it (3709)

On 05/06/2015 at 1:22am - kids - by seethroughpee - Canada (Alberta)

Today, our new boss banned coffee from the workplace, comparing caffeine to hard drugs. His comparison may not be wrong; after two hours, I couldn't take it any more, and in between fantasising about his cold-blooded murder, I begged to be allowed just one last cup. FML

#21403720
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29461) - you deserved it (4568)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Finland

Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML

#21401745
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33900) - you deserved it (4529)

On 04/29/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my sister's kitten walked away from his litter box, jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eyes, then peed directly onto my laptop. FML

#21401720
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30362) - you deserved it (3047)

On 04/29/2015 at 12:06pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let a loud fart rip. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML

#21398419
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28306) - you deserved it (4017) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/23/2015 at 8:27am - kids - by bleue - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I found out my best friend's girlfriend is cheating on him with his own brother. I went over to his place and told him everything while his girlfriend was in the same room. He called me a jealous liar who wanted to break them up, and kicked me out while she looked on, smirking. FML

#21396139
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30388) - you deserved it (2933)

On 04/19/2015 at 9:08am - misc - by Anunimos (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)



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