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Double2

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Double2

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Double2's favorite FMLs

Today, I shared with my doctor that I still feel uncomfortable with my medication. She expressed surprise, saying, "Really? By now I would've thought it'd be routine." Sorry, no. In three months, I have not gotten used to sticking a syringe up my butt and injecting my rectum full of medicated foam. FML

#21522878
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20312) - you deserved it (1585)

On 02/04/2016 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, which he was happy about, until I told him in the interest of fair play he also had to let me fuck him with a strap on. It didn't take him very long to suddenly decide anal is disgusting, with all kinds of health risks. And he thinks he's the smart one. FML

#21522856
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20518) - you deserved it (3090)

On 02/04/2016 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by sandra (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, my dad thought it was a great idea to text me and say he decided to put our dog down. I was in the middle of class and still had hours left at school. It's not fun to walk across campus holding back tears. FML

#21522136
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23298) - you deserved it (1425)

On 02/02/2016 at 3:05pm - misc - by wideeyeddays (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at the gym. I'm 360 lbs and have finally decided it's time to change that. Some girl and her two bitch friends thought it'd be fun to follow me and belittle me at everything I did. When I mentioned it to the staff, they said that they were just "encouraging" me. FML

#21522018
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27272) - you deserved it (1739)

On 02/02/2016 at 5:17am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out the only reason my boyfriend of two years asked me out on a date was because I accidentally flashed him when we met. FML

#21487953
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19776) - you deserved it (2802)

On 11/03/2015 at 3:04pm - love - by smh - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend had the choice of A) living alone gaming, or B) moving in with me, gaming in his own man-cave, lots of sex, and lots of pizza. He chose choice A. FML

#21487379
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28863) - you deserved it (4845)

On 11/02/2015 at 2:25pm - love - by Anonymous - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, while at a party playing Truth or Dare, I found out my best friend fantasizes about having sex with my 51 year old mother. The rest of the guys at the party then nodded in agreement and thus spawned a group conversation about how "screwable" my mom is. FML

#21487219
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29237) - you deserved it (3168)

On 11/02/2015 at 3:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my cousin got hired after six days of job-hunting. I graduated from university six months ago and haven't even scored a single interview; he's a deadbeat junkie who just got out of prison after doing time for armed robbery. FML

#21484001
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26243) - you deserved it (2671)

On 10/24/2015 at 11:39pm - work - by (man) - United States

Today, after submitting my college application, I noticed that I mistyped "math enthusiast" as "meth enthusiast". FML

#21481486
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24660) - you deserved it (7495)

On 10/18/2015 at 3:18pm - work - by RIPcareer - United States (Maryland)

Today, my life became a lot more depressing. A while ago, some friends and I founded a "Forever Alone" club, because all of us were single at that time. I'm now the only member left. FML

#21481449
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24644) - you deserved it (2853)

On 10/18/2015 at 1:06pm - love - by Lena (woman) - Germany

Today, after saying I'd edit and revise a coworker's report so he could go home and spend his anniversary with his wife, he sent me a file. Upon opening it, it was pictures of men wearing strange fetish gear while being dominated. He has yet to send me the correct file and I'm scared to ask. FML

#21473823
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25335) - you deserved it (1813)

On 09/28/2015 at 4:33pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML

#21468418
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25886) - you deserved it (1691)

On 09/14/2015 at 3:54pm - love - by meunluckycharms - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML

#21456687
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29306) - you deserved it (3252)

On 08/16/2015 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I was doing laundry while my boyfriend was sitting at the table playing on his phone. I glanced over and caught him watching my ass as I put clothes in the dryer. Trying to be sexy, I looked at him as I slowly bent over to put more clothes in. Instead, I hit my head hard on the dryer door. FML

#21449270
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28288) - you deserved it (8326)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:34pm - intimacy - by RuasaLove - United States (New Jersey)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

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Friday 5 February 2016

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