Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Dorkatore

Search for a member

Dorkatore

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3720
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Dorkatore's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:51pm<b>Leptailurus</b> - the 10/15/2009 at 2:47am<b>not_ur_mexican</b> - the 04/25/2009 at 8:33am<b>Shadesville</b> - the 04/06/2009 at 12:08pm<b>Blobenshnogen</b> - the 04/02/2009 at 1:46am

Dorkatore's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Dorkatore's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML

#8875479
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23646) - you deserved it (3942)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML

#8663414
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22094) - you deserved it (2071)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by Ineedit (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

#8612395
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23140) - you deserved it (4101)

On 02/24/2010 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Too bad he has never once made me orgasm in the two and a half years we've been together. FML

#8586594
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21372) - you deserved it (6489)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:48am - intimacy - by jasmine - United States

Today, I woke up very hung over after a big party last night. As I walked into my kitchen to make something to eat, I noticed a weird smell. Turns out my friend had thrown up in my freezer, and then turned off my whole fridge so "it wouldn't freeze and be hard for me to clean up in the morning." FML

Today, the 86 year old guy next door told me I needed three things in life to succeed: a cook book, a boyfriend, and a boob job. FML

#5799559
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30642) - you deserved it (4355)

On 10/12/2009 at 4:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, after working another double shift because I want to buy my boyfriend a really expensive anniversary present, I get to his apartment to find him calculating in how many paychecks he'll be able to afford a Caribbean getaway. For himself. FML

#5798197
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28904) - you deserved it (3091)

On 10/12/2009 at 3:31pm - love - by Sucker (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, at work, my stomach hurt and I passed gas for relief. Moments later, I discovered that my loose, silent "fart" was actually a wet, sneaky shart. The mess was beyond repair; I had to fake a family emergency and crept out of the office so that my coworkers wouldn't see my obvious crap stain. FML

#5796915
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31702) - you deserved it (8038)

On 10/12/2009 at 2:10pm - health - by Few_Absolutes (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

#5774504
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52931) - you deserved it (26867)

On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, my boyfriend left for a month-long trip with his buddies. I stood near the door waiting for a goodbye kiss. He kissed his xbox goodbye instead. FML

#5759399
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35553) - you deserved it (5243)

On 10/10/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by kissless (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I showed my boyfriend the new tattoo of a butterfly that I'd gotten on my lower back. He said, "It looks like it's flying when your rolls jiggle." FML

#5688481
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12995) - you deserved it (37222)

On 10/06/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by lovebigmacs (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I retook my ACT. I have been fighting a cold all week and have been very sneezy lately. Midway through the test, I got the urge to sneeze. Since it was very quiet and I didn't want to disturb the peace, I tried to hold my sneeze in. I ended up letting out a huge fart instead. FML

#5672838
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35469) - you deserved it (9227)

On 10/05/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Sneezy123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at a stop light and a bee landed on my leg. I screamed and started swatting it. It flew into my jacket and I started to strip my jacket off, taking my foot off the brake. I hit the car in front of me and deployed the air bag, breaking my nose. Then the bee stung me in the back. FML

#5653425
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34214) - you deserved it (13280)

On 10/04/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by Anstice (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to dress in all black with a ski mask and use my spare key to break into my house as a joke. He though it was even funnier when I jumped out the window and broke my leg. FML

#5622271
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37631) - you deserved it (5641)

On 10/03/2009 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: