About Doritozilla : Hello! Welcome to my profile! Just know that I am a person who is quite quiet, and I am quite random. Message me if you would like! Have a Fantastic, amazing, great day!
Doritozilla's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Doritozilla's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
by thatsnotacat / 11/21/2013 at 12:52pm / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
by kcountry92 / 11/17/2013 at 10:19pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML
by kiwibox / 10/25/2013 at 9:50pm / United Kingdom (Suffolk) / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/07/2013 at 11:03am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by out_of_my_head / 09/19/2013 at 5:55am / United States / Work
Today, my car broke down. My dad insisted he could fix it, but screwed up in the process. After finally getting the car towed to a mechanic, I was told that I'd only needed a new water pump, but thanks to the damage my dad did, fixing it all will cost me a small fortune. FML
by Anonymous / 09/06/2013 at 12:10pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Money
by The Corner Of Death / 08/12/2013 at 4:17am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML
by traumatizedforlife / 08/05/2013 at 4:21pm / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 8:13pm / South Africa / Transportation
Today, I felt lousy and decided to give myself a pep-talk in the mirror. After a while, I cheered up and went about my day. I soon found out that my sister had recorded me through the crack of my door and posted the video on Facebook. I'm humiliated. FML
by Suomynona / 07/12/2013 at 4:40pm / Germany (Hamburg) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/06/2013 at 3:11am / United States (California) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 2:39am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh / 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I started my new job as a cashier for a drugstore. As I scanned some children's medicine for a family, I gave the girl a tissue because her nose was running. Later, my boss sat me down and told me there had been a complaint about a "female pedo-employee". I'm the only woman working there. FML
by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 8:27pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I woke up to my bratty younger sister cutting through my hair with a pair of scissors. I now look like a freak, and my mum bitched me out for being angry, all because my sister claimed she'd been sleep-walking. Her demented smirk said otherwise. FML
by Anonymous / 06/16/2013 at 2:49pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Kids
- Today, I misread an ID and sold alcohol to an underage operative from the department of alcohol and… Today, I took my daughter's cat in for what should have been a routine surgery. He reacted badly to… Today, I went into Walmart to buy some new pants. After realizing they fit perfectly, I took them…