About Doritozilla : Hello! Welcome to my profile! Just know that I am a person who is quite quiet, and I am quite random. Message me if you would like! Have a Fantastic, amazing, great day!
Doritozilla's FML badges
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Doritozilla's favorite FMLs
Today, my friend's dog got hit by a car. I was the only one not in shock, and had to drag the poor thing off the road, then comfort a hysterical friend while the driver verbally abused us and demanded we pay for the repairs to his car. FML
by falconjade / 12/06/2013 at 12:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
by thatsnotacat / 11/21/2013 at 12:52pm / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
by kcountry92 / 11/17/2013 at 10:19pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML
by kiwibox / 10/25/2013 at 9:50pm / United Kingdom (Suffolk) / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/07/2013 at 11:03am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by out_of_my_head / 09/19/2013 at 5:55am / United States / Work
Today, my car broke down. My dad insisted he could fix it, but screwed up in the process. After finally getting the car towed to a mechanic, I was told that I'd only needed a new water pump, but thanks to the damage my dad did, fixing it all will cost me a small fortune. FML
by Anonymous / 09/06/2013 at 12:10pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Money
by The Corner Of Death / 08/12/2013 at 4:17am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML
by traumatizedforlife / 08/05/2013 at 4:21pm / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 8:13pm / South Africa / Transportation
Today, I felt lousy and decided to give myself a pep-talk in the mirror. After a while, I cheered up and went about my day. I soon found out that my sister had recorded me through the crack of my door and posted the video on Facebook. I'm humiliated. FML
by Suomynona / 07/12/2013 at 4:40pm / Germany (Hamburg) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/06/2013 at 3:11am / United States (California) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 2:39am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh / 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I started my new job as a cashier for a drugstore. As I scanned some children's medicine for a family, I gave the girl a tissue because her nose was running. Later, my boss sat me down and told me there had been a complaint about a "female pedo-employee". I'm the only woman working there. FML
by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 8:27pm / United States (California) / Work
- Today, my live in boyfriend has been giving me the silent treatment for the last three days because… Today around 7 am, I was taking a short walk for a smoke break. I saw a super fit man running, we… Today, my boss sat me down for my evaluation. Not only did she have nothing good to say because she…
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual… Today, my wife was talking to our 9 month-old baby. “Your father really is an example.” I smiled,…