Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Dopehead666

Offline (the 08/02/2015 at 5:58am) | Search for a member

Dopehead666

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 April 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16364
  • Number of comments : 84
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Dopehead666 : Kristina Dopeify.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
Lily Tomlin (1939 - )

One of the things you learn from years of dealing with drug people, is that you can turn your back on a person, but never turn your back on a drug. Especially when it's waving a razor-sharp hunting knife in your eye.
(Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas)

Kristina Dopeify - facebook
Dopehead666 - FML & PS3

Dopehead666's page activity

Visits<b>minxxx</b> - yesterday at 2:15pm<b>Xander1998</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 5:35pm<b>graysenrocks</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 10:19am<b>vioblack</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 12:41am<b>fmliffuuu</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 1:37pm<b>_jack117_</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 11:24am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:04am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 6:07pm<b>MaydayParadexx</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 12:58pm<b>silkyred</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 8:12am<b>DropDead8499</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 9:52pm<b>KaylaRox1908</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 1:48pm<b>dusthar</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 6:56pm<b>pait_loves_shane</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 10:27pm<b>xEliteVenom</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 12:14am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 3:48am<b>Damafia</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 11:15am<b>boricualuv</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 10:47pm

Dopehead666's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Dopehead666's badges

Dopehead666's favorite FMLs

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

#21399378
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32616) - you deserved it (2793)

On 04/25/2015 at 6:34am - love - by a critically injured shitehawk (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34061) - you deserved it (6992)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, at work, a crazy customer forced me to promise to take a holiday greeting picture of my cat and myself for her. She says she'll be back and expects one. FML

#21300741
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29709) - you deserved it (3359)

On 11/17/2014 at 1:48pm - animals - by not crazy enough (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31919) - you deserved it (18307)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43630) - you deserved it (10434)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

#21024543
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46020) - you deserved it (4952)

On 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41590) - you deserved it (4655)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

#20943580
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51986) - you deserved it (6658)

On 11/03/2013 at 9:22am - kids - by KittyKat (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32363) - you deserved it (68713)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

#20697165
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32011) - you deserved it (35439)

On 05/31/2013 at 10:59am - animals - by fuckshitcockwaffle (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML

#20684256
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40022) - you deserved it (4344)

On 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by unwilling redneck - United States



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: