Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Doorhandle57

Search for a member

Doorhandle57

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 22 April 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 32595
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Doorhandle57 : I like to browse Ikea and frolick in fields. Also, I'm a vegetarian and love photography and swimming in the ocean. I was born on earth Day...how special.

Doorhandle57's page activity

Visits<b>TheLiberalRiley</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 6:20pm<b>bkirky</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 5:27pm<b>jbond97</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 4:57pm<b>Elgaard</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 5:04pm<b>sig4life</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 10:48pm<b>julian0605</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 9:34pm<b>james71993</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 10:02pm<b>Valerina96</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 6:07pm<b>darkdusty974</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 4:23pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 5:30pm<b>JohnTheLad</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 1:59pm<b>jacktheguy</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 5:02pm<b>lmo98</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 1:16am<b>BrownTaco</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 4:40am<b>taemobig</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 7:09pm<b>dodgeman05</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 9:41am<b>Amberisa</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 5:04pm<b>falconsfan2139</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 3:54pm

Doorhandle57's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Doorhandle57's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss asked me to pick up some supplies for a presentation. I entered the store in the middle of an armed robbery, was knocked to the floor, and had my cash, phone and credit cards stolen. When I told my boss the story, she said, "So were you able to get the binder clips?" FML

#1682300
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60794) - you deserved it (2874)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:52am - work - by Jay (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to donate blood for the first time. When they stuck the needle in my arm, I had a panic attack and begged that they take it out. The woman helping me told me she'd take it out in a moment and left. It was then that the Red Cross stole a pint of my blood while I had a panic attack. FML

#1674851
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46218) - you deserved it (16325)

On 05/05/2009 at 8:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, it's my wedding day. It was meant to be perfect. The bouquet, along with a high pollen count, set my hay fever off. I walked down the aisle in front of 200 people with streaming eyes and a runny nose; I then had a sneezing fit during my vows and blew a large snot bubble. Real attractive. FML

#1602310
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62128) - you deserved it (7081)

On 05/03/2009 at 6:16pm - health - by Cherub (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, it's my wedding day. It was meant to be perfect. The bouquet, along with a high pollen count, set my hay fever off. I walked down the aisle in front of 200 people with streaming eyes and a runny nose; I then had a sneezing fit during my vows and blew a large snot bubble. Real attractive. FML

#1602310
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62128) - you deserved it (7081)

On 05/03/2009 at 6:16pm - health - by Cherub (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

#1550190
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (176294) - you deserved it (45569)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML

#1216393
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51359) - you deserved it (8603)

On 04/22/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by fencernick (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (470545) - you deserved it (29099)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (240006) - you deserved it (31636)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
504 comments

I agree, your life sucks (229030) - you deserved it (80543)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: