Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Doorhandle57

Search for a member

Doorhandle57

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 22 April 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 32556
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Doorhandle57 : I like to browse Ikea and frolick in fields. Also, I'm a vegetarian and love photography and swimming in the ocean. I was born on earth Day...how special.

Doorhandle57's page activity

Visits<b>TheLiberalRiley</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 6:20pm<b>bkirky</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 5:27pm<b>jbond97</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 4:57pm<b>Elgaard</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 5:04pm<b>sig4life</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 10:48pm<b>julian0605</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 9:34pm<b>james71993</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 10:02pm<b>Valerina96</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 6:07pm<b>darkdusty974</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 4:23pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 5:30pm<b>JohnTheLad</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 1:59pm<b>jacktheguy</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 5:02pm<b>lmo98</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 1:16am<b>BrownTaco</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 4:40am<b>taemobig</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 7:09pm<b>dodgeman05</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 9:41am<b>Amberisa</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 5:04pm<b>falconsfan2139</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 3:54pm

Doorhandle57's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Doorhandle57's favorite FMLs

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91340) - you deserved it (19129)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

#2804463
819 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30642) - you deserved it (292344)

On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at my wedding, when my husband heard "you may now kiss the bride" he swung me down romantically and was about to plant one on me when his arm slipped, causing me to fall on the floor hitting my head, and getting a concussion. FML

#2798321
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67711) - you deserved it (3793)

On 06/11/2009 at 10:37am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to a Dodger game with my crush. Between innings, the "Kiss cam" came up on the big screen. The camera happened to land on us, and when my crush saw us on the screen, he leaned away from me and buried his face in his hands. Everyone saw, and sympathetically said "Awww." FML

#2763801
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53238) - you deserved it (3118)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by dodgerkiss (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had just gotten a milkshake with some friends. We were about to drive past my ex's house, so I though it would be funny to throw the milkshake in his yard. Turns out, if your going 50mph and try to throw a shake out the window, it comes right back at you. FML

#2719263
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6071) - you deserved it (91289)

On 06/08/2009 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, was my graduation party. My birthday was about a week ago so my parents combined the presents. I thought it would be something big so I hinted for a new TV. I got a snuggie. FML

#2679727
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56483) - you deserved it (4556)

On 06/07/2009 at 12:49am - money - by AllyCat (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML

Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out my Cosmo magazine to entertain myself. The woman sitting across from me points and tells me I'm reading "Satan's Manual." I told her I don't believe in Satan. She said, "You'll know he's real when you become his bitch!" FML

#2442070
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49829) - you deserved it (7446)

On 05/30/2009 at 7:22pm - misc - by satanlovesme (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

#2275729
726 comments

I agree, your life sucks (259705) - you deserved it (117061)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML

#2030761
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90796) - you deserved it (21399)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm - kids - by embarrassedmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (413670) - you deserved it (53789)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML

#1815413
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71670) - you deserved it (7993)

On 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by airport (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML

#1686217
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9465) - you deserved it (91805)

On 05/06/2009 at 7:36am - love - by gymbob (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boss asked me to pick up some supplies for a presentation. I entered the store in the middle of an armed robbery, was knocked to the floor, and had my cash, phone and credit cards stolen. When I told my boss the story, she said, "So were you able to get the binder clips?" FML

#1682300
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55841) - you deserved it (2524)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:52am - work - by Jay (man) - United States (Missouri)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: