Doorhandle57

Search for a member

Doorhandle57

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 22 April 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 34244
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Doorhandle57 : I like to browse Ikea and frolick in fields. Also, I'm a vegetarian and love photography and swimming in the ocean. I was born on earth Day...how special.

Doorhandle57's page activity

Visits<b>Iamentertained</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 9:24am<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 12:02am<b>teacupofsunshine</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 12:46am<b>SaveEdit</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 2:09pm<b>Dale_shackleford</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 1:37pm<b>Big_D_Real</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 5:09pm<b>stryder9090</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 7:52am<b>conman317</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 11:10am<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 7:57pm<b>bewk</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 1:44pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 10:47am<b>iRuinStuff</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 12:59am<b>Amateur_Dank</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 6:01pm<b>broadway12345</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 12:26pm<b>CanadianWarMoose</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 1:35am<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 11:13am<b>Sethan01</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 2:10pm<b>snowah96111</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 5:54pm

Fucked!<b>Iamentertained</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 3:24pm<b>broadway12345</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 5:26pm<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 4:13pm

Doorhandle57's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Doorhandle57's favorite FMLs

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

by NoBalls / 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

by ouchers / 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my wedding, when my husband heard "you may now kiss the bride" he swung me down romantically and was about to plant one on me when his arm slipped, causing me to fall on the floor hitting my head, and getting a concussion. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2009 at 10:37am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I went to a Dodger game with my crush. Between innings, the "Kiss cam" came up on the big screen. The camera happened to land on us, and when my crush saw us on the screen, he leaned away from me and buried his face in his hands. Everyone saw, and sympathetically said "Awww." FML

by dodgerkiss / 06/10/2009 at 2:38am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had just gotten a milkshake with some friends. We were about to drive past my ex's house, so I though it would be funny to throw the milkshake in his yard. Turns out, if you're going 50mph and try to throw a shake out the window, it comes right back at you. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2009 at 1:47pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, was my graduation party. My birthday was about a week ago so my parents combined the presents. I thought it would be something big so I hinted for a new TV. I got a snuggie. FML

by AllyCat / 06/07/2009 at 12:49am / United States (Virginia) / Money

Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML

Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML

by dearme / 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out my Cosmo magazine to entertain myself. The woman sitting across from me points and tells me I'm reading "Satan's Manual." I told her I don't believe in Satan. She said, "You'll know he's real when you become his bitch!" FML

by satanlovesme / 05/30/2009 at 7:22pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

by Angelofkarma / 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love

Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML

by embarrassedmom / 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

by catlady1989 / 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML

by airport / 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML

by gymbob / 05/06/2009 at 7:36am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, my boss asked me to pick up some supplies for a presentation. I entered the store in the middle of an armed robbery, was knocked to the floor, and had my cash, phone and credit cards stolen. When I told my boss the story, she said, "So were you able to get the binder clips?" FML

by Jay / 05/06/2009 at 12:52am / United States (Missouri) / Work