Doorhandle57

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Doorhandle57

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 22 April 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 34323
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Doorhandle57 : I like to browse Ikea and frolick in fields. Also, I'm a vegetarian and love photography and swimming in the ocean. I was born on earth Day...how special.

Doorhandle57's page activity

Visits<b>Chibster</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 6:11am<b>Iamentertained</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 9:24am<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 12:02am<b>teacupofsunshine</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 12:46am<b>SaveEdit</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 2:09pm<b>Dale_shackleford</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 1:37pm<b>Big_D_Real</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 5:09pm<b>stryder9090</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 7:52am<b>conman317</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 11:10am<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 7:57pm<b>bewk</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 1:44pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 10:47am<b>iRuinStuff</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 12:59am<b>Amateur_Dank</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 6:01pm<b>broadway12345</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 12:26pm<b>CanadianWarMoose</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 1:35am<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 11:13am<b>Sethan01</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 2:10pm

Fucked!<b>Iamentertained</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 3:24pm<b>broadway12345</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 5:26pm<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 4:13pm

Doorhandle57's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Doorhandle57's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML

by poopshooter101 / 06/30/2009 at 7:53am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I learned my 40 year old father is marrying a girl barely a year and a half older than me. She told me not to be afraid to call her mom. I was torn between punching her in the face and vomiting. FML

by OfCourse / 06/27/2009 at 1:32am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at Disneyland with some of my friends. While eating lunch, we watched a small child get frightened by the person dressed as Mickey Mouse. We all burst out laughing only to be jumped by Chip and Dale. Apparently I scream louder than the little kid. FML

by FailureAtLife121 / 06/26/2009 at 11:44pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. My doctor said it was okay to eat, so, I had some mashed potatoes. Apparently, my body disagreed with the doctor, because I threw up. Because my face was so swollen, it didn't make it out my mouth. It went through my nose instead. I literally blew chunks. FML

by bloodynose / 06/26/2009 at 10:35pm / United States (New York) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML

by Chedder / 06/26/2009 at 7:36pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, My 5 year old sister informed me she had left me a present in my bed. She had tied a ribbon around a dead rat's neck and propped it up on my pillow. The label says his name was Bert. FML

by toothfairy / 06/26/2009 at 10:20am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought a new mailbox to replace the old one that was stolen. Two hours after I put the new mailbox up, the old one was back and the new one was missing. FML

by Dumbass / 06/20/2009 at 2:01am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

by kat9232000 / 06/19/2009 at 12:04am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

by Shaun / 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, I had a horrible day at work, came home early and burst into tears as soon as I was in the door. I curled up on the sofa, still bawling, and my cat came over and jumped up for a cuddle. I gave her a hug and she threw up down my back. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2009 at 2:11pm / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I was being pulled into a pool by my girlfriend. To avoid ruining my phone, I tossed it into one of the chairs behind me. I missed and it landed into the hot tub behind it. FML

by WetPhone / 06/15/2009 at 2:10pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML

by Hackmanjones / 06/13/2009 at 10:42am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

by unicorn / 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was at my job at an old folks home, and I was cleaning off a table when one old lady looks up at me and says "I've been a dirty dirty girl" in a seductive tone, I thought she meant about the table so I said "yes you have" then she winked at me, I walked away fast. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2009 at 3:53am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML

by Shoes / 06/12/2009 at 1:33am / United States (Washington) / Work