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About Donutposse : Hello creepers. I know that my rugged Lego hands look like they were just made to clutch at your sensitive parts and drive you to pure ecstasy, but this is not a dating site so please don't send me messages saying "i liek ur hands we should chat hmu lol ;)"
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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I was accused of shooting drugs at work. I was only feeding a baby bird that was tucked into my arm using a medicine syringe. I've been smuggling it to work because it has to eat every 2 hours or it will starve. Now everyone there thinks I'm a hardcore dope fiend. FML
Today, I came through a DUI checkpoint. The trooper noticed some donuts I had. He asked, "Are those donuts?" Jokingly, I replied, "Yes. Why? Are you going to confiscate them?" He didn't see the humor and pulled me off to the side to have a team search my truck. FML
Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML
Tuesday 22 July 2014