Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DontClickOnMe

Online | Search for a member

DontClickOnMe

22Liked!

DontClickOnMeDontClickOnMe
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5965
  • Number of comments : 283
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DontClickOnMe : You clicked on me. Oh my my my, are you gonna regret that. I guess your curiosity was just too much to handle, huh?

DontClickOnMe's page activity

Visits<b>Snickers4</b> - 6 hours ago<b>abu4u</b> - 17 hours ago<b>sythe511</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:18pm<b>Coolhwip92</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 2:23pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 12:28pm<b>katiegurl1223</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 11:50am<b>mind_geek</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 9:29am<b>Lanker</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 3:18am<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 2:03am<b>kerstileann</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 1:22am<b>therussianbear20</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 11:16pm<b>tampabayfan</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 11:02pm<b>summer135790</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 10:43pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 10:42pm<b>camogirl2249</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 10:36pm<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 10:33pm<b>bandnerd2018</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 10:26pm<b>Miss_Blondie44</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 10:11pm

Liked!<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:29pm<b>CurtisGirl</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 5:12am<b>randomname42</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 2:51am<b>imateapot_723</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 10:28pm<b>stacey2570</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 2:25am<b>Goddamnit6969</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 2:21am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 1:59am<b>tonimari3</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 9:26pm<b>ExastirisDragon</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 4:44am<b>baba01</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 2:55pm<b>abu4u</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 11:22am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 2:20am<b>mikepzz</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 12:17pm<b>jplaya93</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 10:40pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 11:49pm<b>morlogg</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 2:57pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 12:37pm<b>pandacrew_</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 5:41am

DontClickOnMe's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of DontClickOnMe's badges

DontClickOnMe's favorite FMLs

Today, while leaving a football game, I saw a half-empty bottle of Mountain Dew on the ground. It was night-time and there weren't many people around, so for a laugh, I picked it up and tossed it behind me as hard as I could. It hit someone. FML

#18008863
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6811) - you deserved it (47903)

On 10/17/2011 at 6:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML

#17643019
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31601) - you deserved it (3757)

On 09/02/2011 at 8:47am - intimacy - by rochellamaya - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while working at Subway, a man ordered a sub with avocado. When I told him it was no longer available, he screamed, spit in my face and ran out, pushing over an innocent bystander in the process. FML

#17142025
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31714) - you deserved it (2970)

On 07/16/2011 at 10:46pm - work - by sandwichmaker - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realised I'm sitting at home alone on a Friday night, watching a documentary online about decomposing elephants. FML

#16718637
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28913) - you deserved it (9417)

On 06/17/2011 at 9:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML

#16512093
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51525) - you deserved it (7463)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:23am - love - by Loveless - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I read my university's newsletter. Apparently we're starting up a "buddy" system for international students. I'm signing up, because this will help me complete my goal of making my first friend at university. FML

#16430117
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29243) - you deserved it (5197)

On 05/31/2011 at 1:50am - misc - by loner (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36933) - you deserved it (6057)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

#14849779
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52014) - you deserved it (3828)

On 02/05/2011 at 7:02am - misc - by bob - United States (Arizona)

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

#14610611
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14405) - you deserved it (36813) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

#13692696
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22502) - you deserved it (8714)

On 11/02/2010 at 8:57pm - misc - by StayPositive - United States (Maine)

Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300 pound man walked out, shook his head, and said "I'm sorry" to me. FML

#13675906
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32463) - you deserved it (3138)

On 11/01/2010 at 3:39pm - misc - by mr_p - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No, now get out of my house." FML

#13353894
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39582) - you deserved it (4258)

On 10/07/2010 at 10:26am - love - by Vinny1017 - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46021) - you deserved it (14703)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

#9048258
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22538) - you deserved it (9864)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by smellsgood (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my grandma's cat peed on my full leg cast. The closest doctor was a three hour drive away. So my grandma wouldn't take me at all the whole weekend. FML



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: