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DontClickOnMe

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DontClickOnMe
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3782
  • Number of comments : 249
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DontClickOnMe : You clicked on me. Oh my my my, are you gonna regret that. I guess your curiosity was just too much to handle, huh?

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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DontClickOnMe's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No, now get out of my house." FML

#13353894
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36787) - you deserved it (4005)

On 10/07/2010 at 10:26am - love - by Vinny1017 - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42297) - you deserved it (13768)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

#9048258
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20027) - you deserved it (9266)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by smellsgood (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my grandma's cat peed on my full leg cast. The closest doctor was a three hour drive away. So my grandma wouldn't take me at all the whole weekend. FML

Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML

#7728749
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24133) - you deserved it (5447)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Becca (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

#6712676
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10277) - you deserved it (34799)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, we had our annual office Christmas party. The theme of the party was "Ugliest Sweater". The winner was a sweater that I have an exact replica of in my closet. It's my favorite 'special occasion', 'family portrait' and 'holiday' sweater. FML

#6695498
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18970) - you deserved it (10981)

On 12/10/2009 at 3:52pm - misc - by NotHauteCouture (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that I have to block my number to get my own mother to take my phone calls. FML

#6037423
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27790) - you deserved it (2871)

On 10/28/2009 at 9:06am - misc - by Slayeddd (woman) - United States

Today, I was looking at my wedding photos. The photographer moved onto the "candid" shots and thought it would be cute to have pics of us making out at the reception. I have blonde hair. The girl in the picture did not. FML

#5570675
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44264) - you deserved it (2283)

On 09/30/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I found out why my 20 year-old girlfriend broke up with me. She was building everything she did to match her favorite TV show. The main character left her boyfriend in the exact way she left me. And the breakup email she sent me contained monologue from the TV show, word for word. FML

#4829994
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60946) - you deserved it (4203)

On 08/26/2009 at 3:09am - love - by micahmatt (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went on a plane and was sitting next to a mom with her 12-year old daughter. Apparently, they decided to have "the talk." On the plane, right next to me. I heard everything, and actually learned new things. I'm 35. FML

#4691287
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31420) - you deserved it (5669)

On 08/20/2009 at 8:20pm - misc - by airplanes-suck (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

#4331370
819 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20546) - you deserved it (464348)

On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working my shift at a fancy restaurant and it had been a really hard day. My parents came in to have dinner and surprise me. After paying, they left a note saying they would see me at home. It also said "By the way, no tip, because you stink at serving." FML

#4231634
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37401) - you deserved it (5997)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:12pm - work - by waiterrrrrrrrr (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went swimming with this guy I like at dammed river. While we were jumping off the dam, I decided to try to impress him by doing a front flip. I didn't jump far enough off, so when I went to flip, my face skidded down the concrete wall. FML

#3486343
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29548) - you deserved it (38641)

On 07/04/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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