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About DontClickOnMe : You clicked on me. Oh my my my, are you gonna regret that. I guess your curiosity was just too much to handle, huh?
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The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML
Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him everyday now. FML
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML
Today, my boyfriend yet again unsuccessfully tried to hold in uncontrollable giggling every time I moaned or sighed during sex. He's 24. I'm terrified of his reaction should I ever reach an orgasm with him. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML
Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I went past a bar. There were lots of drunk men outside telling me to come over so they could give me the night of my life. One of those men was my grandpa. FML
Today, while leaving a football game, I saw a half-empty bottle of Mountain Dew on the ground. It was night-time and there weren't many people around, so for a laugh, I picked it up and tossed it behind me as hard as I could. It hit someone. FML
Friday 14 November 2014