Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8970
  • Number of comments : 298
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DontClickOnMe : You clicked on me. Oh my my my, are you gonna regret that. I guess your curiosity was just too much to handle, huh?

DontClickOnMe's page activity

Visits<b>MonstreBelle</b> - yesterday at 1:15am<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 10:46pm<b>kangx1</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 10:18pm<b>Crustified_Dibbs</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 8:43pm<b>12shadic12</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 12:56am<b>zombie4life283</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 4:12am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 11:05am<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 9:47pm<b>zefronke8</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 1:42pm<b>OwlsMakeBowels</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 10:48pm<b>ExhaustedSausage</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 3:16pm<b>ARKHAM88</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 1:26pm<b>DatBacon28</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 5:38am<b>earljonez</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 3:59am<b>Jowisee</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 2:25am<b>Vitrolicz</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 9:18pm<b>kkt1209</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 6:40pm<b>LaughsTooMuch</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 4:38pm

Fucked!<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 5:06pm<b>CanadiAnM8</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 3:21pm<b>shitidied</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 6:16am<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 4:39am<b>TheCookieComet</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 2:19am<b>Ajf92002</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 12:37pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 8:38pm<b>quinzxl</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 8:49pm<b>lamyakh</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 12:45pm<b>irish_lad</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 11:34am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 1:51pm<b>firefox9778</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 8:55pm<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:30am<b>BlueDragonDC</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 11:28pm<b>Astrophysics</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 7:00pm<b>mushroomcassette</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 9:28pm<b>FlapJack1357</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 8:36pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:29pm

DontClickOnMe's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of DontClickOnMe's badges

DontClickOnMe's favorite FMLs

Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41044) - you deserved it (2643)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML


I agree, your life sucks (34799) - you deserved it (2344)

On 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm - animals - by bull-stuff - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37300) - you deserved it (3262)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31547) - you deserved it (3431)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was making wedding plans with my fiancé. His mother kept complaining about everything, and insisted it was pointless to plan because it's just our "first marriage." She then tried to convince him to dump me and move back in with her because "she's all he'll ever need." FML

Today, my 17 year old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he over heated, but he still won't take it off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42529) - you deserved it (6709)

On 01/11/2013 at 6:36am - love - by GiraffeLover - Australia

Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35862) - you deserved it (3235)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 24-year-old brother again yelled at me for looking at him while he was on the toilet. It'd be easier not to if he didn't sit on the toilet with the door wide open, and if the bathroom wasn't directly opposite my bedroom. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33477) - you deserved it (3498)

On 01/02/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53225) - you deserved it (4937)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:49am - work - by habassistant - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML


I agree, your life sucks (37428) - you deserved it (3011)

On 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm - misc - by hborkowski (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML


I agree, your life sucks (54475) - you deserved it (5099)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML


I agree, your life sucks (16719) - you deserved it (37875)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML
  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: